The situation of both a man and woman being interested in you(which has been confirmed).Prob is getting confused as to which person I like more.Can not seem to make a decision either.And it feels like I have been waiting for someone to come along for a really long time,but now feeling confused.Feel like I will just end up confusing both of them and always seem to feel guilty once people get to know me.As if I am a burden(yes I know that is needlessly negative thinking).Now all of a sudden wish no1 was interested in me.Also the fact that I will hurt one of them once I make my decision is holding me back.As well as the fact that it feels like I will have picked my side in the minds of others(I don't know why that bothers me again).:bang: ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 02:15 AM ---------- Also scared that people will want to use me again.Or give me too much special treatment.Trying not to focus on the past.But was just hurt so badly... ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 02:24 AM ---------- Confused about my feelings for both of them as well.Maybe I am too picky like my mom says.But my mom should have been more picky and look what mess she got herself in... ---------- Post added 22nd Mar 2014 at 02:29 AM ---------- Maybe I am meant to be alone.I feel I need a complex person...Most people become too predictable for me after awhile.I find it extremely hard to relate to people in general as well.
Figured that I will not overthink this issue while in a depressive episode as I am bound to become irrational.Will not rush the decision either,it is still early days.Falling into all kinds of silly negativity and self-reflection traps and it is not helpful to me.And if in the end I end up not making a decision then that is also okay.It all depends on how things proceed.
The fact that I am not happy while people are interested in me should tell me something.Know what I have to do now.Something to work on would be being more comfortable in being weird.The more comfortable I am in that,the more likely that Mr/Mrs right will come along.I attract people that either want to ''look after me'' too much,feel ''sorry'' for me,see me as a piece of meat,are even more screwed up than I am,or see me as a fling.Not all the time,but most of the time.All is well,life goes on.
