I previously worked at Company A for 3 months on a project basis and during those 3 months, I was assigned to a manager. Let's call her X. Out of those 3 months, approximately 2 months were used to prepare for a one week external event. The last month was used to clear up backlogs/key in data related to the event. X and I didn't talk to each other prior to the 1 week external event. It was only when I was assigned to her for the event did we start talking to each other. I would say that we have pretty similar working styles. Both of us do not like pending work and would try to clear it off asap and we're pretty efficient. Our colleagues are mentioned that we looked alike. During that 1 week external event, our company flew another team member from overseas to assist us. However, that overseas team member wasn't of much help though she's somewhat more experienced in handling external events than us. While X and I were busy settling stuff on site, she'll be somewhere skiving. I knew that the overseas team member wasn't of much help to X and I would offer to work overtime to help her (though my company doesn't pay me overtime). Since we're working in a team, I thought it's only right that I helped X. Another reason why I'm willing to work overtime to help X even though I'm not paid overtime is because I like the way she does things as a manager. She has great people skills and sure know how to blend well with people of all walks of life. You can say I was motivated to go to work to help her. X took good care of me in that company, just like how a big sister would. Throughout that 1 week external event, some things happen and X would rant/complain about the stuff she's unhappy about to me during our lunch/dinner times. I would just listen to her rants. X resigned shortly after the external event ended. As I was hired on a project basis, I became unemployed shortly after the external event ended too. Though X resigned first, we still kept in contact. She said that I have good working attitude and asked if I was interested to join her ex-company. I agreed because not many are given the opportunity for the job she offered me, unless you have the required qualifications or if you have the experience. In this case, I have none. So I jumped at the opportunity to give the job she reccommended a try. She sent my resume to her ex-boss, I went for an interview and I was in. Everything happened too quickly there wasn't time to think. Things started getting a little uncomfortable on my first day of work in that new company. Let's call this Company B. Colleagues in Company B knew that I was recomended into this job by X even though I have no relevant experience and they started saying weird things, mostly things to suck up to X. Shortly after, I found out that X was actually the manager of my current manger in company B. Her position was pretty high and she was pretty influential in that company. Because of that, people treat me differently. My current manager was said to be very short tempered but she was very patient with me (not that I'm complaining but it's too much that it feels fake). Though X is not working in company B, we are still in contact. We talked mostly about the situation in company B. X is considering is she should return to company B and I would offer my views on it. After much struggle, She finally decided to return to comapany B. X is pretty close to the boss in company B. They met up recently to discuss about her return. During which, the boss actually told her that I look, dress and behave like X. My colleagues in company B felt the same way too. Since her position in the company is wayyy above mine, I was wondering if it's okay to continue being close to her, just like how we were in the past. Or should I start maintaining a distance with her? So that there won't be any conflicts? Because people say that we're pretty similar. I enjoy her company because I feel that she's very real and direct & would love to continue being close to her, listening to her rants about work (although I have a feeling she won't tell me as much now that our position are different as compared to when we were in company A) but I don't know if this is a wise thing to do...? Any good advise? Thank you to all who took time to read!:icon_bigg
Ok, so if I got this right you are concerned wether it's possible to stay friends with her despite the 'power gap' and wonder how your coworkers think about it, yea? Well, in my opinion you shouldn't sacrifice a friendship for the thoughts of others. It's most of the time hard enough to find friends so you shouldn't let others tell you, but decide for yourself. You know your intentions and that's enough. What they think your intentions are (like doing everything for a better position or special treatment or something) should not be important. And she probably wouldn't have recommended you if you weren't up to the job. But you have to expect that people talk, I guess that can't be avoided. We live in a society were you have to work hard to get what you want, with a lot of competition, and everyone with good connections is sort of suspicious, if you know what I mean. And it probably can be kind of hard to strike a balance between acting like really good friends at the workplace with it not coming across as special treatment and not acknowledging the friendship in fear of what others think. And it might be even weirder for her since she's sort of your boss, but friendships usually are mutual after all and I guess as long as she doesn't distance herself from you or mentions anything I don't think it would be a problem... I guess I would just try to act natural around her at work and not overly friendly or overly cool, just normal, and would try to not overthink it. I hope that helps you in any way, just my thoughts =)
