I'm a 20 year old virgin and feel like a loser.

The absolute WORST thing you can do is lose your virginity just to feel less alienated. I personally don't think that people should have sex until they're 20 or at least 18, sex is an adult matter.
My advice is don't lose your virginity until you've been in a good relationship with someone for a year or two. The first time you have sex needs to be something SPECIAL.
Your body is an amazing thing made up of trillions and trillions of cells and it's something that should be respected, not a merry-go-round where everyone gets a ride.

 

I was a 25 year old virgin , so your not a loser there are even 30 year old and 40 year old virgins .

 

I'm a 19 almost 20 year old virgin that has not even been kissed, does that make ME a "loser"?? I don't think so.. Countless numbers of people have tried to get into my pants.. I almost got raped a few times from crazy boys & girls before.. Also, countless people find me cute or/and pretty!! Actually, just a few minutes ago..someone ON HERE called me "pretty"!!!!! I'm just saying that your soooo not a loser!! There is no need to lose your virginity "to be happy"..trust me, it does not make you happy if you lose it to the wrong person!!!! <3

 

I agree with stocking and deluna. You are not a loser, hell i'm 21 and i haven't even kissed a guy! Its worth waiting for the right person.

 

I lost my virginity at 16 and wish i hadn't. Im 23 now and looking back i don't think i was ready even though i believed i was at the time. when you are a Virgin it seems like a big deal and you feel like you should do something about it but as cliché as it sounds its not something you should rush into, it should be memorable for the right reasons. Sex with someone you care about and have a relationship with is way better than sex with just anyone.

 

I'm 7 years older than you are and in the same position. Don't feel bad; it could be worse. 20 really isn't very old anyways.

 

My Dad was a virgin at 20. And then a few years later he met my Mom.:icon_bigg

 

You're not a loser at all, I'm 20 and in the same situation. Haven't had sex and haven't kissed anyone yet. Don't rush things, you will know when the time is right and it will be worth the wait!

 

I'm sexually inexperienced too, I don't see the issue with it personally. It's better to wait until you feel It's right instead of force yourself to do it and regret it later.

 

Don't worry and don't rush things. Its better to wait and have sex when it's right for you. Anyone keeping score doesn't have his or her priorities in the right order.

 

I was 16 when I lost my virginity, and I regret it ever since. Sex complicates things, especially relationships with younger people.
Regardless of what society has to say, you shouldn't feel like a loser. You should be proud, you should never measure yourself as a person going solely on physical sexual contact ^^

 

I am 24 and have never been kissed before, so you are not alone in this.

 

I'll be the one to maybe make people feel better.

I lost mine at 27.

Eh. People concerned with that need to get their priorities straight and the population of virgins is much higher than people think due to popular culture.

 

Meh.. I'm 25 this year and I haven't held a guy's hand. Maybe if I stop pushing them away...

 

28 here and still a virgin for various reasons. I don't mind being a loner -much like you I don't like large groups, prefer one-on-one conversation etc but aspects of my life due to my own physical disabilities as well as caring responsibilities have made me more socially isolated than I would like. Add sexuality into the mix and the chances of me meeting the right person are dramatically slim. But I haven't given up on the idea that I will meet someone and neither should you if that's something you want. There's no rule that says you have to have sex or a relationship by a certain age. As you might have guessed from the replies above, 20 is still young. You have a lifetime ahead of you to meet the right person, so try not to let yourself get dragged down.

 

I was a 20-year-old virgin, closeted all my life up to that point, and I did feel like a loser too. Coming out as gay did take some of edge off of it, like "oh he had an excuse for never having a girlfriend".

But really, virginity is a fictional concept. There is nothing biological about it, there will be no noticeable differences between your first time and your second time. It is difficult even to define what virginity means, it means different things to different people.

The most important thing is that you want to make sure you lose your virginity to someone who is special to you, someone who loves you. You don't want to go on some hookup app and lose your virginity to some random guy you never see again and have that be your "first time" memory to think back to.

As I said, virginity means different things to different people. Depending on the exact definition someone uses, I might or might not be a virgin- but I would prefer the stricter criteria that would make me still a virgin rather than accept the idea that I lost my virginity to some one-night stand. There is no shame in being a virgin. There IS shame in the thought of losing your virginity to a random hookup guy whose name you don't even remember.

 

This is an excellent post.

I know I'm only embarrassed because society puts so much emphasis on sex, not because I necessarily believe there's something wrong with me. If anything I feel bad that I've gone this long in my life without really trying to find a relationship. I might feel differently had I actively been searching for someone to have sex with for all these years.

As far as I'm concerned if I ever lose it I want it to be with someone special, not something I do just for the sake of getting it over with and end up regretting it. I do worry that being completely inexperienced at this point is a potential obstacle and a major turn-off for a lot of people, but hopefully that's not an impossible barrier to overcome. It really shouldn't be.

 

I kind of agree with Rakkaus but I don't think there is a wrong way of losing it. I lost it to a guy I barely knew (at least as a top) and don't regret it. I was coming into termS with being gay and it meant breaking a psychological barrier.

Inexperience is not really a problem, it is kind of cute indeed. But you would also need to try being relaxed, outgoing and understanding. If the other person cares about you and knows you are unexperienced, it may be a bit intimidating since he would want it to be a good experience for you and feel pressured! (I has happened to me, though maybe I am just weird and worry too much about everything )

 

^^^ This