Can two gay guys be best friends without it actually being/becoming romantic?

Got myself into a complicated situation and would love to hear some thoughts. Sorry this is going to probably get long winded knowing me...

About 3 months ago, I went out a few times with a guy I met online. The first few dates went really well. We have a ton in common, very easy conversation, kissed on the second date, flirty texts, etc. Then sorta out of nowhere, he friendzoned me after date 3. Said he just wasn't feeling it anymore and that he also didn't want to takes things further knowing that he wasn't looking for a serious relationship right now and I was (he's a few years younger than me). I was pretty bummed out but decided he was worth staying friends with. We kept in touch over text but it was about 3 or so weeks before we hung out again; I just needed some time. Then after that first time seeing each other again, we started to hang out fairly frequently over the next couple weeks. To me, things started to get kinda flirty and I was getting some mixed signals. I asked what was going on and he admitted he was confused and also thought maybe there was still something there worth exploring. So over the next few weeks we kept hanging out to see if, as he put it, something would grow organically. Always worried that if I pushed too much, too fast I would scare him off, I never made a move. After dancing around the subject for a few weeks, I finally just asked him where we stood. At this point we were seeing each other several times a week and texting plenty in between... it almost felt like we were dating but without the responsibilities and the sex... He tells me that despite clearly having a strong connection with me and having some feelings, it's more like that of a good friend, not in a romantic sense. Tough pill for me to swallow... but I decide once again, to remain friends. Combination of legitimately enjoying his company even as a friend a well as not being able to fully let go of the hope that something more is there and it will somehow develop if I give it more time.

So that was a few weeks ago. Since then once again we're spending a ton of time together. Out late on weekends, dinners sometimes during the week, lots of texting in between. The other evening we wandered aimlessly around the city for over 3 hours together, had dinner after... good convo the whole time. Tells me after how I somehow get him to just open up and talk so freely about things despite being an introverted person. Says after that he's so grateful I'm still in his life; that I'm quickly becoming one of his best friends.

So here's my dilemma. I still have very strong feelings for this guy. In my heart, I truly believe he has feelings for me too, but that he's just in a state of mind right now where he doesn't want a relationship and instead wants the freedom to play the field and have some fun. As much as I hate that, I get it - he's only 24. I really do enjoy the time we spend together; he gets me doing things I was never interested in before but have since come to love. Unquestionably a positive addition to my life aside from the constant pain of dealing with unrequited feelings. Most of my friends probably think I'm nuts at this point for letting this drag on and remaining friends with this guy. I guess this leads me to my question... has anyone here been in a situation like this before? I'm confused how he can consider me a best friend, meaning there's a more than normal friendship type connection there between us, but not be honestly interested in something more assuming there's also a physical attraction which I believe there is from when we were first dating. Isn't that basically the building blocks of a romantic relationship? I mean, I think about m best straight friends and basically the only impediment to it being something more is the lack of a mutual physical attraction (for obvious reasons). So it seems odd to me then that he could be attracted to me, have more than normal friend type feelings for me, but not truly want something more. Not sure how to handle the situation now. I guess just keep being his close friend, hanging out and enjoying out time together. While I'd love for this to take a fairytale ending with something more naturally developing over the next few months, I'm also a realist and know that probably won't happen. I really do want him in my life one way or the other, though knowing he's going on dates and probably hooking up with other guys in the background doesn't make it easy and honestly, I'm just not sure I can get over my feelings for him which makes me wonder if this friendship would be sustainable in its current form.

Sorry this got very long winded. Been pretty rough the last few months dealing with the disappointment of what seems like a very promising situation turning very unclear. I also feel pretty idiotic for even letting it get to this point. Most people I know would have ditched this guy back in January... but it's always easy for someone else to say that. What can I say, I really like this guy and I can't let go of the belief that he has feelings for me too. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd really appreciate hearing them. TIA

 

Thanks for all the thoughtful replies. I think Chip and a few others here hit the nail on the head... the bigger issue is the feelings I have for him combined with the mixed signals. The feelings are tough to deal with but I would like to keep him in my life one way or the other. So with that, I think I'm going to give it some time to see if maybe my feelings die down. His mixed signals though don't make it easy... keeps me thinking maybe there is still potentially going to be something more there. Not an easy situation :/

 

Had a conversation in person with him - says he just doesn't feel it romantically and also wouldn't want to screw up what we have by doing anything

Problem is I can't deny that part of why became so close is because I've been holding onto the hope of making it into a relationship. I still want to be friends with him, but I dont know if I can handle being this close but nothing more with someone I have such strong feelings for. No way would this amazing bond have formed were it not for my feelings keeping me so interested and willing/able to hang out with him so much. What I don't understand is how he isn't in the same boat. How is it possible for him to have this type of friendship with someone and it not also be built on some degree of romantic interest. We spend so much time together and have such a good connection... and do little things that just feel a little strange for truly 100% platonic friends to do.

This is going to sound silly, but I almost feel like I'm getting taken advantage of. He's almost always on ******, ******, etc... he's insanely cute so never has trouble finding someone to go out with. Never turns into anything meaningful though. Like he finds what he needs in the romance department from one person, then has me to fall back on for the emotional/meaningful stuff. I know it's not his intent and this is just my head twisting the facts, but hard not to think it.

Going to do my best to remain friends with him at this point. The friendship clearly means a lot to him and it does to me too. It's just hard to want to maintain it at its current level knowing there's no chance of it turning into something more.

 

Thanks, Chip. It's encouraging to hear that. I honestly don't know if my feelings will ever completely die, but if I can at least bury them most of the way, it should hopefully work. Like you said, there's a lot of good he brings to my life and I need to focus on that. It'd be sorely disappointing to lose everything we've developed the last few months. It should also help me to get back out there and looking for someone else... someone who wants to return my feelings and affection without me feeling like I have to work and compete for it.