First of all, I would like to say Hi to you guys as I'm new here and secondly, I'm here to get something off my chest that has been biting me since Monday night/Tuesday morning. Well I got hurt at work and I decided to stay at a close friend's house that night (As it was nearer to my workplace than my home). So anyways, I knocked on the door at what?.. 9:43 or 8:43 at night when his nana woke up, and answered the door. She likes me so she invited me in and went to wake up 'Phillip'. I heard her say 'Phillip, your friend is here, isn't that nice of him to visit?' I heard her say in the hallway as I waited for him in the lounge. Eventually he got up, came to the lounge and we started talking. I hadn't seen him for 2 months before that night, it was really good, I was happy. He has a little room downstairs next to where they park the car. His little 'Man-cave' or w/e lol. We went down there and started talking about life, recent girls we/ve been with, secret occults all that poop. I got tired and had a few ciggarettes to wake me up when he said, 'You can crash it here for tonight, if you want' so I said yes. The night got darker and we were getting tired. I wanted to sleep. So I folded out the mattress-couch thing I was sitting on and he went upstairs to fetch some pillows and blankets. ' i'll sleep down here with you, or do you want to sleep by yourself?' he asked me. I didn't mind either way as I was so friggin tired. so I lay down and turned away from the light. He got into bed, and man I was getting nervous. when the lights went off, he annoyed me with 'truth of dare' so I caved in after the 100-billionith time he asked me. I took truth, and he asked 'Would you kiss me if I let you?' and being high from earlier it was easy to say yes. So I did. I said it...I said yes... The room felt like space, it was just me and him lying there, nothing else mattered at the tome. He was shocked, (or at least I think so, the lights were off so I couldn't see) then he said 'really?'. 'WTF was I thinking omg, shutup already' I didn't answer, my hreart was beating so fast , and I turned away. He pulled me in and started kissing me. I tried pulling away, but truth be told, I wanted it as much as he did. so we were kissing (tongue and all) when he took my shirt off and then I stopped. I didn't like where it was going, not because of him, coz, damn, hes hot, but becuase I didn't want to lose him as a friend, because he's valauble to me, and I love him, like my brother. I lay down again. I turned away from him. when I heard him say 'pussy'. I didn't care. so I was drifting off when started cuddling me from the back and has hand was holding mine. I wanted to, so badly carry on our kissing but the handholding did it for me. Thats when he reached down my pants and touched me there. so again I caved in. I hopped on top of him and I started kissing him. My mind was racing and like.. I dont know really.. I stopped and started crying.. He got angry and left to sleep upstairs. Later on that morning I woke up. cleaned yup downstiars when he came in, and said casually, 'so how did you sleep?'. I was so mad, I wanted to punch him so I left and limped all the way home. lol Any advice guys?, I don't know what he wants from me.. its really confusing, hes done this before which got me thinking about him constantly like I am now. Sometimes, thinking about him gets me so stressed I chain smoke up 6 in one go.. it hurts me..
First of all, I'm really sorry that you had to deal with that, I can't even imagine how stressed out you are. While nothing like this has never happened to me before personally, I'll do my best to hopefully help out a bit=) So it seems like you were split between your brotherly love for this guy, and also your physical attraction to him. I've never been high before, but I'm sure that you can act differently while high compared to sober. I think you need to find out- Did he come onto you because he was high, or did he have underlying feelings for you, that just happened to come out while he was high? When you're in that state of mind, you have less inhibitions.. So he could have had sexual attraction to you from the beginning, and he finally felt comfortable/relaxed enough (while high) that night to show them. But on the other hand, being high makes someone do crazy things that they wouldn't do normally. Meaning, it could have been a one time, random thing. What you should also think about is, did it feel like love or lust, when he came onto you? There's definitely a difference. Since you guys seem to be really good friends, I'm just gonna guess and say that it was just lust, but you never know.. He could have romantic feelings as well, and it's not easy to tell the difference between the two sometimes. Unfortunately, why he did what he did is gonna be impossible to figure out on your own.. While it'll probably be uncomfortable and quite possibly a bit awkward, the only thing (in my opinion) that you can do is ask him. I'm absolutely no expert on this sort of thing, but I hope you get things figured out! And welcome to EC!
No problem=) I really hope it works out because you deserve to be happy. At the end of the day, your happiness is what's most important and if that means starting a relationship with him, then so be it. You do what makes you happy, and makes you comfortable, whatever that may be. ^^ Because if you don't do that.. Then you're gonna miss out. Thanks for complimenting my sig! I thought the quote was wicked, it fits my sexuality perfectly.
Well... it's not cool that he just randomly got into your pants... I think you need to tell him that it was out of line.. Ask him if he actually has feelings for you... because maybe THEN you can start something when you know that it's not just random horniness....
See, the thing is, I dn't think its random horniness, I think hes just playing with me.. I have told him so many times to stop and yet he still insists...
Update: I ended up going over to his house last night with a couple of other friends.... we got drunk they all left and it was only us two.. I ended up sucking him off, and he nearly took my virginity away... honestly right now... I don't what the hell that was.. I don't know.... I dont know what to do... I don't know whether to be up set or angry because, you know... it takes two to tango.
Well, you have two options. You can continue playing "everything that happens in the dark stays in the dark", but it's a lot tougher to steer that train. Or you can go talk to him. As in, sit down with him (in his mancave) and say what's on your mind. I honestly don't know what exactly you're feeling, and what exactly you want to happen, but I'll just pick one possibility and run with it. "Look, about the last two nights. I enjoyed it. I enjoy messing around with you. But I don't want it to be some horrible secret that we can't talk about when the sun is up. We don't have to tell the world or anything, but I want to be able to talk about it with you when I want to." Lex
Thank you so much, I think I should say that. But knowing him, he'll bring it up not me. I don't want this thing between me and him to grow. As im typing right now... The smell of him still lingers on my body.. even though ive had a shower..
It's OK if he brings it up, but not if he nudges you into having sex again rather than actually discussing "what's going on". What you need to do is decide exactly what you want, and exactly what you don't want, and set boundaries on it. If you actually like having sex with him, and want it to continue, great. If you don't, tell him it's over, and hold fast to that. Lex
I haven't had sex before though. And my first time, will NOT be with him, thanks anyways.. I really appreciate the advice
