So a lot of people in the homosexual community are sceptical of bisexuals. I'm sure you have all heard the comments: bisexuals don't know what they like; they are straights who want to experiment. They'll leave you for [whatever the opposite sex is]; so on and so forth. But why is it so hard for people to accept that an induvidual can genuinely be attracted to both sexes. For so long i was unable to come out that i liked girls and once i did i felt obligated to claim that i was lesbian in order to be accepted by women in the lesbian community. Finally i am able to comfortably say that i am bi but what is honestly the issue with lesbians or gays dating bi men or women?
Unfortunately, a lot of gay people are just insecure. A lot of straight girls looking to experiment or play around do identify as bi, and it hurts the bisexual image as well as how gay people view them. I've actually noticed that the idea of a lesbian being scared that a bisexual will leave them for a man isn't even based on bisexuals being more unfaithful most of the time; but rather that they're afraid that a man is considered better than them. Being left for a woman = Painful but not as threatening, Being left for a man = More difficult to accept because of our phallocentric culture. I'm not saying this is right, just that I believe the reasons why it happens. I had three really crappy bisexual exes, so I was reluctant to date any more for a long time. However, now I know that they're not all like that and I was being bigoted in my view. A lot of education is needed so lesbians don't feel so threatened by assumptions.
What falling said is true some lesbians feel like that . Not all lesbians are like that I would date a bisexual woman that wanted a serous relationship with me as long as I was attracted to her and liked her as a person . but I have been burned by bisexuals in the past but I don't think every bisexual woman is like that .
I'm gonna go ahead and say that there are just bigots in every group of people. It amazes me the hate that some bisexuals get, especially from other LGBT people that have gotten the same hate for the same reason before.
I understand people liking both sexes, and I don't think there's any reason not to accept bisexuals (heck, I could be bisexual for all I know). One thing that I'm kind of curious about is what happens once I bi person starts a gay relationship... like... do they still call themselves bi during that relationship? I suppose it varies between people. I guess that could be what puts LGBT people off sometimes; the person still labeling themselves as bi gets interpreted as them still open to the other sex and thus not committed to the relationship... which isn't necessarily true... imo, I fully accept people who label themselves as bi as much as I respect any other orientation
If your bi and date some one of the opposite sex or same you don't need to change your label you can still label yourself as bi
Speaking as a bisexual person myself, I can honestly say that I don't get it either. We're not sluts, we're not inherently unfaithful, and we aren't "indecisive." I'm legitimately attracted to both genders, and I don't get to choose when I'm more attracted to one over the other. Whether I'm with a guy or a girl, I'm sure I could stick with one partner. I hate that we get stereotyped as sluts by the people we're supposed to share a common bond with.
It's no secret that many lesbian and gay people, as they are in the process of coming out, incorrectly use the 'bisexual' label during their bargaining process as a way of softening the blow (sometimes to themselves, and often to family and friends.) It's my suspicion (supported by absolutely no research or other credible basis) that since so many people do that, and later realize that it was simply a bargaining strategy, that bashing other bisexuals serves to reduce their own discomfort or shame at having used the label improperly, or ridiculing others in their coming out process. For example, there are a couple of people I know now, who are in the early stages of coming out, who have labeled themselves as bisexual, and I can say with near complete certainty that when they've fully come out, they'll own the "gay" label. I don't say a word of this to them, because it's not my place to do so (and because I could be wrong), but I've seen this particular pattern -- absolutely no interest or dating history or real attraction to opposite sex people, dozens of hookups and relationships with same-sex people, but vehement insistence that they're bi and not gay to others who question them -- so many times in so many others that it's fairly obvious. And some of their friends constantly ridicule them. At the same time, I know dozens of people who are genuinely bisexual, some who seem 50/50 bisexual and some closer to one end of the spectrum or the other. They, too, sometimes get crap and various accusations, but nobody with any common sense would question their orientation because they've had partners of both sexes, show attraction and connection to both sexes, and clearly aren't attracted just to one particular sex. I also think some level of jealousy may play into it ("Wow, I really wish I could be attracted to opposite sex people as well as same sex, so I'd have the option of a normal life.") In any case, it's wrong, devaluing of another's experience, and certainly isn't empathic behavior.
I was about to say what Chip was, only not as in depth. When I hear of bisexual people, I automatically think that it begs the question: "so they say, but are they sure?" Of course, some are and some aren't.
I think people just don't understand it so they react out of fear in the desperate hopes of not being confused anymore
I totally agree with what's been said here. I also find it sad, that people (not all of course) in the LG group, who have been battling so long for equality and fairness from being discriminated against by the straight group, can then turn around and do the same thing to another group. It's quite shameful when people behave like this. But like had been said above, bigotry can exist anywhere.
Its great to see that there are definitely those who are accepting in the LG community but i'm sure for every one person who is accepting there are at least 2 who are not and its sad because i could be missing out on my soulmate:\ wish certain bisexuals didnt give us all such a chance bad rap
I think a lot people just don’t understand what it means to be bisexual. I view bisexuality as you are straight and gay. For me, sometimes I wake up liking guys and not liking girls and vice versa. I broken up with guy before because I wasn’t attracted to guys at the time being. I felt horrible what I did, but I couldn’t change how I felt.
I definitely feel when I was using the bi label I was bargaining mostly too myself , I don't feel jealous of bisexual women at all , it's just for me I've been burned by women who said they were bisexual and i think another problem that I have mentioned here before is that's a huge problem is fake bisexuals , and how the media portrays bisexuals in negative images . As a lesbian I have to be very cautious when dating bisexual women than lesbians I have to watch out for the fakes and look for the real and sometimes it's hard to tell which one is real at first because you'll have curious straight women that will tell lesbians their bi and want a relationship so they can sleep with us then boom when the sex is all done their bored they go back to men so basically I just got used then I try another bisexual girl happens again your like oh crap I better stop dating bisexuals or this will happen to me all the time . even know a bi girl that fits the stereotype but is this to say all bisexuals are like this no the problem isn't really the actually bisexuals to me it's the fakes impersonating you that I'm scared of so some lesbians prefer just to avoid real and fakes all together . Don't talk about the Media they have done so much damage to the bi label I think it all started with that show a shot of love that all things went down hill for bisexuals then you when you watch a reality show or a tv show the bisexual is always the stereotype they always date or sleep with a man and a woman same time sometimes not the same time but have both boyfriend and girlfriend . I have yet to see a proper representation of a bisexual person on tv . I do think there is some jealous I agree with chip on that but not for all gays and lesbians . I think another reason lesbians avoid dating bisexual girls is because we're constantly told we're not good enough for other women is because we don't have a penis , I've heard this myself and still here it very often in my house hold . My mom makes fun of how lesbians have sex and how could anyone like having sex with us because we don't have a penis and you here women are suppose to be with men all the time . Now if your a lesbian and you here that all the time then you meet a bisexual woman that leaves you for a man it makes you think wow my parents and those homophobes that told me I wasn't good enough were right maybe I'm not good enough for her . I think the issue has to do with us being insecure more than the girl just being bisexual . Sorry I kinda focus on a lesbian aspect of this because this is the one I know the best , I don't know the gay equivalent of this . I agree with a lot of what Chip said but a lot of it has to do with insecurity as well that we have as gays and lesbians .
I completely agree with Stocking on this one. The fake bisexuals are a huge problem, and it has nothing to do with real bisexuals- but irresponsible straight women misusing the label. I wish there were more repercussions of this disgusting behavior. The penis thing is a big issue too. A lot of people think that lesbian sex isn't "real" sex or just fooling around. That a penis penetrating something is more "sacred" or some other dumb shit. This can cause emotional harm to lesbians; I've seen penis envy and low self-esteem in the community, in severe cases even suicide attempts. Realizing that, I can understand why some women are more threatened by women who like men. Even though I wouldn't refuse a bisexual woman, I still am skeptical about the ones who prefer men or who recently got out of straight culture. I do feel sorry for bisexuals who are discriminated against, and It's definitely unfair. But a lot of lesbians just need understanding on bisexuality and the reassurance that their partner ISN'T just using them for an experiment or their partner WOULDN'T consider themselves a virgin if they've only slept with other women and not men. If a lot of lesbians knew that, I don't think most of them would avoid bi women.
