Gays hate overweight people.

That's a generalisation... and you can never apply a generalisation to an entire group of people. There are gays that are totally accepting of, or even like heavy guys. You just need to find them

 

Being skinny is desirable in our society, no matter what gender or sexual orientation. It sucks, because I'm not skinny either. But there's definitely a subset of gay guys who likes guys who look just like you, as WhiteShadows said.

 

I've known a fair number of gay guys in my time, some as friends, some as sex partners, some as boyfriends or partners. Virtually NONE of them were/are underwear models (ok, one was a stripper, but he was more the big muscle type, not the uber ripped type - he and his partner did home remodels as their day job - they were a cute couple). About half had boyfriends or partners during the time I've known them/knew them.

The point being that most gay men are anything but perfect, just as most straight men (and women) are anything but perfect. For that matter 'perfection' is just a matter of opinion and can encompass a lot of different things - for me a 'perfect' guy would have a virtual pelt of fur across his chest running solid from neck to crotch. If it extends across his arms, legs, shoulders, butt, and back so much the better. Yet, you might find a guy who looked like that anything but attractive (and find some other combination of features totally hot). Or even if you do like furry guys, there are certainly other guys who wouldn't be attracted to that.

The point being...somewhere out there there is a guy (or probably quite a few guys) who are going to find a big tall dude like you really attractive, with or without the extra weight (which you are in the process of getting rid of and you should be rightfully proud of what you've accomplished in this area - keep at it and be positive - you're doing great). And you will really like them and find them attractive back. And odds are good that he won't be an underwear model - and you won't care. And neither will he.

I'd suggest finding some other guys to talk to and some other approaches besides online (which, I suspect, tends to encourage a sort of 'but the next one might be even better so I should just keep searching searching searching' sort of mindset that isn't terribly productive.

Hang in there man, your time will come.(*hug*)

Todd

 

I'm overweight and gay, do I hate myself? I don't think they "hate" overweight men per se, but aren't attracted to them. Most gay guys I know, my boyfriend included, either specifically like big guys or just like guys in general, big or small.

 

^This

I don't have a problem with guys that have extra weight, but weight whether it's more or less isn't something I pay attention to. If I liked a guy, then I wouldn't really care unless if he was at the point where he wasn't healthy or having problems because of it. I have had a lot of overweight friends as well, so it doesn't really matter to me if someone has a few extra pounds or not.

 

The chub and bear (I've heard that bears and chubs tend to stick together, but this is just hearsay) communities are probably what you're looking for.

 

I like men to be at least 40 pounds more than me (I'm about 170 pounds), and I know quite a lot of people agree with me. Don't worry, mate

 

Love is blind ... when you meet the right person , the one that will love you , he won't care about what you look like . i have fallen in love with a man that has NOTHING commun with my "dream guy" , totally not my type , but still , i fell for him , all you have to do is be yourself , and someone will come and love you , not for what you look like , but for your personnality , plus as many other people have said , there are a lot of people who are into chubby men , you just have to wait and you'll find that person that will love you for what you are :3

 

Hate is a strong word and not all gay guys are the same. Anyway most people regardless of their sexuality prefer people in good shape. We even prefer ourselves that way.

 

I think it's men in general that are picky. Just look at the pressure that straight women have to face from the (male-dominated) media to fit into their ideals of appearance.

Then you've got the bear community - who are less worried about appearance and weight, and IMO - they seem a hell of a lot happier and have a whole lot more fun than anyone else in the gay community.

 

Yep. I like slender guys and body hair is a major turn off to me... I am a bit overweight, but I am getting back into shape quite quickly. I wouldn't date me right now, so why should anyone else? I would bitch about gay guys being shallow here... but I admit that I am too! If someone doesn't turn me on, they don't turn me on... I don't care how great their personality may be.

TL;DR: The Seeker is a dick.

 

Hey, that isn't true. The love of my life is overweight, and it doesn't matter to me if he was skinny or chubby.

 

bottom line is that you like who you like. I am getting into shape because it's only fair that I be what I would consider sexy if I am looking for someone that meets my shallow criteria. I don't really feel heartless saying this, but if I was into bigger guys I would love that. There are are lots of them.