I'm finished with it. Instead of showing the bullies that it's not getting to me, they take me for a mug and think I'm OK with it. I'km sick of boys coming up to me and flirting with me thinking I'm fall for it, people making stupid comments about gay people in general, and I'm sick of people being judged smply for being them. I'm Going to my Head Of House tomorrow about it, and frankly, the pros outweigh the cons. So what do you think I should do? The person doing it mostly is Kyle, thinking I'm attracted to every boy I see, and calling his friend gay repeatedly, as if it's a bad thing.He's also part of the group that started the ridiculous rumor that I watch boys when they're getting changed in PE.
"Watching boys when they change" Wow that's the meanest thing I've ever heard. Even though I still in closet, I definitely didn't like to see boys change a year ago when I was in school. Yeah, I'm strange like that, liking people when they're more clothed. You should definitely tell your HoH about it - they're being homophobic, and spreading lies from being homophobic.
Kyle is probably gay and closeted himself, and probably either surreptitiously watches other boys changing in PE, or wishes he had the guts to do so. There's some pretty good evidence correlating this sort of homophobic bullying in secondary school with coming out as gay later in life. Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about him, other than perhaps trying to have compassion for what he is probably going through and the fact that through his bullying behaviors, he's trying to push away what he knows about himself. (hard to do when he's being hurtful to you.) Talking to the people at your school is definitely the right choice. The problem is, if the behavior is driven by internallized homophobia, the only real cure is for him to admit he's gay and there's no way to make that happen, so all they can try to do in the short term is make it clear to him that there will be consequences if he doesn't change his behavior.
I work in a job that sometimes means I have to go do computer repairs in high schools. I was once accused of being a pedophile simply because I'm gay, even though I'm engaged.
He reckons he knows he's not, and has made a lot of comments about "bucking" girls. I'm not going to test how "straight" he is, I have better things to do with my time than to argue with someone who clearly isn't going to get it.
Hi Oceanic 00.Yes,arguing with the boy would be pointless.Carry yourself with pride and confidence.Take this up with someone in a higher position and be firm in your stance.
Hey Oceanic 00, I agree with everyone else; talk to your HOH about this, but dont wast your time with this guy; odds are he's a real "wannabe-str8 jock closet-case". To bad for him but honestley he has no right to do what he's been doing.
I spoke to my head of house about it, and she said "she'd sort it out." But our school doesn't do out about bullying.
Good luck, you're in a horrible position based on your two threads bullies in school and unsupportive parents at home! And only 14 to boot. It's terrible, do you have any friends that support you? I think you need to get out of this environment somehow, I was badly bullied when I was younger and it made me feel like a bad unlovable person for years! I suffered in silence as I felt I deserved it somehow but i did not and neither do you ever, you are a good person and never let the bullies undermine that. Dont think this will make you strong as it won't, you need to get out of this situation as soon as possible somehow. You've done the right thing asking for help, this is too big a problem to sort out by yourself. I would suggest not going to school if it continues and tell your hoh why if necessary you should not have to put up with what in effect is psychological torture. Do you have any aunts or uncles you are close to for support? Children at 14 are horrible in a few years they will mature but the damage will be done. Keep us updated and we might be able to help.
It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You still should report the issue, however. Also, seek out affirming environments. Does you school have any gay/straight alliances? Also, talk with a counselor, whether it be at school or a private counselor in your community. Best to you
I have a friendship group but one of them doesn't really understand that what Kyle is doing is bullying.
Maybe you need to fight fire with fire a bit and stand up for yourself. If there is just one single person 'Kyle' you can probably manage him. Anytime Kyle says anything about being attracted to boys, just say something like Kyle, 'you seem to be obsessed with gay people', 'are you sure you're not gay' or 'you noticed that hot boy too Kyle' etc. just do it in private to him once or twice maybe ask him outright if he is gay just so that he thinks you suspect something, say something like you always seem to notice hot guys when were out with friends. If he gets really upset and angry ask him why he always feels the need to point it out then or is it just to bully you. Do this in private. Then if mentions something when he is with your friends and asks if you liked that guy maybe say something like 'I didn't even notice him strange that you did', don't do anything to call him gay outright in front of his friends but hint at it enough that he will be terrified that you might start spreading rumours but don't actually spread them. He should back off then.
Problem is, he's one of the popular kids, and they start fights VERY quickly. We aren't even friends anyway, he only talks to me to say that.
Ok just remember he is a coward at heart anyone who attacks other people like that and puts them down is a coward and insecure. If you can get him alone, he won't fight with you as he only fights to make himself look big in front of everyone else. I bet if you confront him by himself and just ask him what his obsession with gay people is about and if he is gay himself or just a bully he won't fight you. The most important thing is not to let them get inside your head and make you feel bad about yourself. Also do try and get your hoh to help, it's too much to deal with by yourself. Maybe ask your friends how to deal with him.
