It all comes down to guilt. Having an emotionally abusive,overly manipulative,alcohol dependent,highly intelligent father with mental health problems creates guilt.When he is able to justify everything so well in his own way it leads to guilt.Feeling like you are the cause of it all-guilt. When a sex game goes wrong-guilt.When sexual harassment occurs and you feel like you made it happen-guilt.When you are used in a relationship as a piece of meat-guilt.When you yourself have involved someone sexually without meaning to have negative consequences(it was not remembered according to the person)-guilt. The feeling that you cant let go of the sadness when you see how much others have had to go through-when you try to go without medication but just end up being back on it while there are financial issues-guilt.When the situation becomes more and more emotionally twisted and manipulative and the abuse goes on due to the manipulative abilities of the abuser making the others look bad-guilt.But also love,hate,depression,hopelesness,feeling trapped,feeling lost,feeling too much. ---------- Post added 28th Mar 2014 at 02:08 PM ---------- I cant open up more than this...Should just leave it...forget it...should have never started this thread...its so much worse than this sugar coated version anyway.
It's ok I know that u grew up in a dark place. U know ill always be here for u don't regret posting this bc a lot of us care about u and we don't want u to feel that way (*hug*)
I still have to decide whether I want to stop the deletion process for my account. ---------- Post added 28th Mar 2014 at 09:48 PM ---------- I'm confused though....
I am not going to regret posting this.People might as well get used to me on this site.They can think whatever they want about me as well.I have gotten through some stuff most people will hopefully never have to experience. Thanx Sup2345.
