Nervous about meeting a guy for coffee....

Since my closet is more like an isolation chamber without the Companion Cube, with the inside air mad of pure darkness, I have no experience with this (Texas...).However, I do know how to keep up an identity.

1) Tell people who ask.
Don't avoid the question, just answer it. They'll just have to deal with it.

2) Don't make a huge deal out of it.
Don't get all sassy when someone says they hate gays and be like "Man, I don't need y'all. I got mah OWN mayun and mah OWN car and mah OWN-"

3) Act normally.
Don't spazz out. Seriously this is key. DO NOT have a spazz.

4) Don't be (or at least don't act) scared.
Don't get all flustered and junk.

5) Be normal about it.
Explain your situation (within parameters) and do what you wanna do. You wanna ask a guy out, ask him out.

I've had to tell everyone I was an Asexual since I started High School as there are only 2 openly gay guys in my school, and both of them are hella gossippy and already go through hell, and I DON'T want my sister or my... well anyone to find out.

Hope I helped, I guess. And sorry for the ramble at the end.

 

As a guy in a relatively similar situation, in the same province even, I get how you feel man. I've been talking to a guy a bit over the last few weeks and he wants to meet up, but I'm hesitant to even give out my actual number to chat through text. He's out to whoever asks, as I'm living with my parents though for the time being I've only gone as far as letting my brother and mom know. If my dad knew I would need to find another place to live pretty quick, my mom and brother agree that's how it would go down, so keeping it to myself is pretty much necessary. I'm sure the guy I'm talking to gets it, but being from one of those areas where you know every neighbor, even though I doubt anyone I know knows him personally, the off chance someone finds out I'm just not ready to deal with that making its way back to my dad . Sneaking around doesn't seem fair to them either so I feel by the time I am ready to meet them they will have lost interest so kind of sucks.

I've met up with a guy before, though he lived a couple hours away, so visiting where he was to go for a walk and chat was much less stressful. I felt the exact same way about being inexperience about being out, cause before that I've never had any openly gay friends or even many acquaintances who happened to be out. Just isn't something that happens much where I am. I bit the bullet though and met up, we only talked about things and walked, but it felt awesome. I felt far more comfortable than I thought I would my first time meeting a guy that not only was gay, but was so relateable. We only met once, he said the distance was too much so he found someone else before it went any further, but it was a big step and I'm glad I at least went through with it and went.

I'm not sure how your situation really is, but seeing as your out status so far is only your mom knowing I figure similar. I'd say if your up for it to just go man. Don't worry about inexperience being out since nothing changes about you. Just when they ask questions you usually don't answer, you can openly, and it actually feels liberating to give yourself that freedom. And if you two click in person it will make the worrying all that much silly when you look back at it.

Good luck dude, have a good date!

 

Are you concerned you have to do something "gay" the first time you two meet? You can just talk and go for a walk. Get to know each other. You don't have to make out on the first meeting if that's what you think.

Talking won't out you, and mentally you know you're talking with him in order to start a relationship, so you can at least think of that as being out in public. Get some comfort with him. After that if you meet again somewhere or go to a secluded area like a park or for a walk and try holding hands or something.

It's tricky when you don't have a lot of experience trying to date, gay or straight, so don't let that get in your way. Do what comes naturally.

 

Was so nervous to meet my current boyfriend. Like unbelievably Nervous.

I was late I'm pretty sure, because I was delaying it. Ha, had severe anxiety and all.

There really wasn't much I could do to calm down but just do it and get it over with. I knew I'd be just as anxious if I hadn't, and I'm glad I did.

So just embrace it, you'll look back at being nervous about it with nostalgia later on. It's almost something that I miss, I liked how nervous I was to meet him because it meant I was doing something different and out of my comfort level, and it's good to do things like that every once in a while. It makes you feel like you are living.

Let him know you're nervous, and that you aren't 100% comfortable with being out. It will make it so much easier. The comfort with myself I was at when I first met my boyfriend compared to now is drastically different.

Especially if it's your first time, you are going to be nervous. It's just a lot easier if the other guy realizes, that way he can know your boundaries...etc.