I just can't take this anymore. To see other people sufffering, to have this constant need for helping them. Sometimes it feels as the grief would weigh on my shoulders. For two years I comforted my mom. Sometimes I had to be the mother. Can't take it anymore seeing people cry. Couldn't cope with things that happened. Don't know what to do. Maybe it's just my mood??
(*hug*) It's hard to tell you that you need to take a break, when it's about your mother. Maybe you could vent here? To scream that life is not fair? Sometimes it helps. You can also call a helpline or a therapist. If your family needs you this much, you need to take care of yourself too.
I know...but I can't. I can't just close my eyes. I also know I have to take care bout myself but I don't know how. It was always easier repressing things. But I know that's not good. I did it for almost two years. Currently it's not that worse as then. But it's not easy. Thanks for answering
Be strong and don't give up, I'm sure you can. Just like Nick07 said, I advise you to go to a therapist or anyway to seek for help, because it would really help. I know life isn't fair, and sometimes I feel just like you (especially since I joined this forum), but the only thing you can do is to try to do your best to help people as you can. Maybe it won't be much, but it will be something, and that is enough. You're a good person, I hope you'll feel better
Maybe I should do that but I don't want my mom or dad to know about this. I won't give up. Thank you very much for your answer, too I appreciate that!!
What I meant was that if it was something like an illness the way how to cope would be different than lack of money for example. It would also depend on how long the period is going to be - weeks, months, decades...
I have no idea what the problem of your family is and why they (or you all) suffer. I don't need to know Some people suffer because they are ill, some because they don't have enough money for food, for housing, some because they lost their loved ones. Some illnesses are terminal, some curable. And I believe that your coping technique can vary, depending on the situation. If it's short-term situation, you can exhaust yourself more than if it was something that you would have to live through for decades. If it's lack of money, you can make a plan, very different from a plan for a terminal illness. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, now It get it It's not lack of money. There were illnesses that couldn't be cured. Today there is no illness anymore but I can remember every second standing beside the bed of a humans holding their hands that were near death. That suffered. That was a part of the situation. So it's the thing with the loved ones you wrote. Basically.
You know, maybe you should talk about your feelings with your parents. Because eventually, they will now. And often, people feel betrayed, because we didn't trust them enough to share our lives with them - our sorrow, the fact that we were exhausted - we simply excluded them from that part of our lives and didn't let them make the choice if they wanted to help us. You would feel hurt if your parents told you not to help them, wouldn't you? When they find out you kept everything for yourself, they will feel the same. Also, knowing that you are suffering too could help them to find more strength in themselves. So that they could help you feel better - and that will help them too. Sometimes helping others is easier than helping ourselves. And by taking care of you, they can get better.
But they're not suffering anymore. That's the problem. They finished this part. My mom went to therapy cause of this and I don't want her, never ever want her to feel that sorrow again. And I know if I would tell her she would. I know you're right and it's not even logical what I am talking bout but I can't, I just can't. And you're right. I'm good in helping others but in helping myself I'm totally overburdened.
You lost me there So, what exactly is the problem? That you are afraid that your loved ones can suffer in the future?
No. Not exactly. At least not of this. I'm always afraid something like that will happen again. I just wanna finish tis part of my life but I don't know how. I mean finish on my own. Without my parents. Sorry, I didn't take your advices that were all right. Sometimes the right things aren't the suitable ones. That's stupid I know. Now I'm asking myself why I did post this. Maybe just to talk..
Yeah, that's right Thanks for listening! I wonder why you don't have a wall I would love to post something. Anyway thanks for trying to help and for helping me
