I'm Being Blackmailed

The only real solution I can see is to report him, and if that doesn't work, come out on your own so that he has nothing to use against you. I hope someone gives you a better answer. Good luck!

 

" I have a lot of fans and followers, and they would no longer trust me. My competitive career would probably be over."

Why?

 

Well, I don't foresee any legal remedy should he decide to take action and proceed with his blackmail.

That said, however, if you intend to participate in a community and profession (competitive gaming) that shuns and condemns homosexuals, is it really a community you want to give your life to? :\

At any rate, if your concern for secrecy is as legitimate as you feel it is, then I suggest you tactfully (mercifully, desperately, hopefully) negotiate and, ultimately, concede to his demands. Assuming the facts are as you say them.

 

I also ask why they would no longer trust you. Honestly if you were to reveal it before he could to your fans I think they would trust you a lot more than previously. (I know I would) Anyway, if you don't want him to that severely notify the police of blackmail, of course he might get to divulge it before they could get to him but I'm sure there are various huge repercussions he would have from doing such a thing.

 

You could always release a video saying he's blackmailing you. Personally I'd tell them what with, but you don't have to.

At least then everyone will know what he's up to. If they don't trust you because you're gay they ain't going to trust HIM for blackmail...nobody wants to be around that kind of person.

 

I don't recall it saying anywhere that you HAVE to reveal your sexual orientation just because you have fans.

Give these people a chance to fuck up before you write them all off. If some of them feel you 'lied' to them, to hell with them.

All you need to do is be honest.

"My friends, a lot of you may know that USERNAME and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of things. You may also have seen a tweet I made calling him out on 9 months worth of bullshit that I am tired of. Not just me, plenty others.

Well here's the thing guys. USERNAME has decided to blackmail me. Apparently he thinks so little of you people out there that he believes if he lets this loose on the world you will instantly hate me. Personally I would like to believe you guys are better than that.

Turns out I'm gay.

I would like to think that most of you watching this video aren't bothered by this news. Obviously I'm worried about some of the reactions I might get from people, but I hope that I can expect decent reactions from you guys.

For some reason, USERNAME thinks that I should be ashamed of this part of me. For some reason USERNAME thinks that you guys out there are so small minded that learning about my sexuality will cause you to all run off to someone else. Maybe you will, I don't know, but I would like to think you guys are bigger than that.

I just want to end this with a message to USERNAME. Dude, being gay is perfectly fine. Trying to blackmail someone who is supposed to be your friend, is not.

Thanks for watching guys"

There. video. Done.

The thing is if competitive gaming means that much to you, you'll go for it. You'll stick at it when it gets difficult, and if coming out makes it difficult you'll keep going.

Take the power from your former friends hands and use it to put the final nail in his coffin. If you're going down anyway you may as well take him with you. The difference is, you have the higher chance of coming back from it.

I'm not kidding when I say that NOBODY wants to team up with someone who is known for blackmail. NOBODY.

 

Negotiating with a blackmailer is like trying to tell a troll to stop trolling, it's best just to take away their ability to blackmail you Nyu~ I had a friend similar to the one you described back in grade school, I hope it all works out though Nyu~

And I agree with Chip, your fans will forgive you especially if they're truly your fans, you shouldn't have to change who you are just for a few people Nyu~

 

I agree with the idea from ElliaOtaku. This could even make you bigger. There are gay gamers out there, you could become inspiration for them. Even if your fanbase becomes smaller, it would become stronger, because those who remain will be people that dont care that you are gay, and many that will see the courage it took you to reveal this about you... Most people are perfectly capable of understanding when a gay guy pretends to be straight, that is not a big deal.

Dnt negotiate with a blackmailer. It will become worst on the long road. And worst for others, once he succesfully blackmails you, he will become more likely to blackmail others.

This idea might seem risky but is actually a big opportunity for you

:goodluck:

 

I do concur that the option to just come out as if it's no big deal (because it isn't) and trusting friends, fans, and sponsors to be mature about it is the optimal best solution.


If you're going to talk with this guy before doing that, however, how about this: You don't negotiate about a set of conditions that essentially boil down to "You're my bitch, forever".

Instead, you offer an outstretched hand. You recognise that things have gotten out of hand, and that you will just ignore each other from now on and focus on your careers, instead of petty wars. Henceforth you shall live in separate universes, and the only interaction will be by battling each other's teams in-game.
About the farthest you can go is removing your mutual aggression from twitlonger or other online venues and making a statement that this pointless war has gone on far enough and you'd rather focus on the gaming.

That should be your first, last, and final offer. If he takes it, good! If he takes it and breaks it with immature comments like he's done before, then he can get a dignified silence and if people ask why you don't react, you just reply with "I really don't have the time to fight pointless online shouting matches. I'd rather show my mettle on the virtual field of battle" and leave him to look shrill and petty in comparison.

If he does go forth with the blackmail (and it's unlikely he will. Blackmailers are generally control freaks, and unleashing your secret would also deprive him of the one tool in his arsenal), then it's time for a simple and dignified statement in the vein of what EllliaOtaku suggests (preferably with full and vocal support from your current team).

That's my 2 cents, at least. In any case: good luck. But I do believe that, however bleak it looks now, you really won't suffer for it in the long term, and that he'll get what's coming to him!

 

The only thing that's giving the blackmailer any power is shame on your part. I don't even think you need to come out, necessarily. All he has to do is open his foul mouth and he'll see what people think of A-holes like that.

 

Don't let anyone blackmail you seriously.

No matter what he says or threatens don't submit to those demands. It will bring you only pain and misery from this point forward. He won't stop where he is, once he realizes that he has a weapon that he can use against you the demands will just keep moving forward and getting progressively worse.

You need to take the firm stand now and put an end to this. Take the power he's trying to leverage against you and use it as leverage against him. Come out. Unfortunately life has decided to put your coming out on a timer, but at the end of it all it's the better route for you.

Never, ever, let yourself be blackmailed. It always seems like the only option, but honestly it isn't. In fact it isn't even any option. It's the illusion of choice, and you're better off cutting away all the bs that comes with it.

If you're worried about what your supporters and fans would think about you being gay...take five minutes and imagine what they'll think when they perceive you as losing your spine and submitting to someone else's demands? ( he'll definitely make you do things that will be perceived in this way )

The gaming community eats the weak alive...so being weak isn't really an option for you. =/

P.S: You don't negotiate with blackmailers. It's a waste of time and effort...the only benefit you can gain from attempting negotiations personally is 'illusion of control'. If you're legitimately trying to negotiate all you're doing is confirming to him that he has power of you.

 

People will surprise you. This could be an opportunity to live an open life as who you really are and cut your fanbase down to those who are really interested in your career. I don't think the number will go down too much.

Family issues make it harder, but they might surprise you too.

 

I'm sorry to hear about your church

I hate people like that so much... >.>

I hope everything works out, keep us updated.

 

Frankly, I would ignore your family anyway.

I can't help but notice that you have repeatedly said that your mum completely agrees with the conservative position of the church.

The thing is, you ARE gay. That isn't going anyway. If your mum agrees with their policy of discrimination, frankly I would consider her losing her job to be entirely HER PROBLEM.

You don't get to sit there and say that you happily support a church that would someone out because a member of their family is gay, and at the same time demand you keep it hushed up in case she gets kicked out. You just don't get to do that. It's so hypocritical.

Now think of it like this. You've basically got 3 outcomes here.

1. You tell everyone.
2. He tells everyone.
3. He abuses you until you do something you will regret, or do number 1.

It almost doesn't matter what you do, this is coming out eventually, and it's better it comes from you.

You're being blackmailed from both sides here.

You've got your former friend saying he will tell everyone you are gay if you don't do as he says.

You've got your mother telling you that bad things will happen if you don't do as SHE says (not telling people that you are gay).

The thing is, bad stuff may happen to you as a result of this, but you know what? Currently, you are the only one suffering because of this. You've done nothing wrong and yet you've got people on your case from both sides.

Let them suffer for a bit.