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I feel frustrated everyday and nobody seems to be there for me

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by listening owl, Apr 2, 2014.

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  1. listening owl

    listening owl
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    Gender:
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    Gay
    I feel less and less motivated everyday and my grades in school are dropping. Each day that passes by I feel increasingly hopeless. I've always known I was gay and I've accepted it as a fact but I feel trapped because I deny it to anyone that dares to ask. I've also started to think about suicide often, practically everyday because I'm insulted with homophobic words at school. Any advice??
     
    #1 listening owl, Apr 2, 2014
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Is school an entirely hostile environment for you, or do you have some friends? You say that you're insulted with homophobic words, but do people even know you're gay?
    How do your parents feel on the matter?
    Why do you feel better closeted?

    Just wanting to get a bit more information.

    Lastly - don't think about suicide at all. As others will tell you, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and EC really can help you manage and remedy that problem.
    If no one else, I'm here for you, but I know plenty of people on EC are here for you as well. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 TJ, Apr 2, 2014
  3. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    Coming out is a difficult process that can take time. We may realise that we are gay, but it can take a long time before we are in the right place to start telling other people. Trouble is, it weighs heavily on our mind and occupies our thoughts constantly until we have reached that place where we are strong enough to accept who we are and say it. I'm wondering if that's where you are with your thoughts right now. How much is your sexuality and the homophobic bullying connected to your lack of motivation and feeling hopeless? Is there anything else weighing on your mind? Tell us more, if you can.

    You say you are thinking of suicide often. How serious are these thoughts; have you gone as far as thinking how you would do it? What would dying mean to you?

    It's okay to admit that you are not coping and it's really good that you've been able to share a few lines with us - it actually takes strength to say "I'm not in a good place". I think this is one of the safest places where you can talk about your feelings as people genuinely seem to care. We all want the same thing - to be able to live our lives openly and honestly without fear of judgement, shame or reprisals.

    TJ asked a few questions, I've asked a few more, so I hope it doesn't feel too much. Try to tell us more so we can try to understand.
     
    #3 PatrickUK, Apr 3, 2014
  4. listening owl

    listening owl
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    People that suspect call me those things. My dad is disgusted by gay people. I feel better closeted because I'm afraid of rejection from people. Today hasn't been an easy day since my dad lost his job, i have so much homework that I haven't done, and my doctor told me I have ibs and anxiety disorder. I haven't gone as far as to have a specific way of killing myself but I just want to disappear. It seems that I'm not really around people that care about me since I told my best friend that I was suicidal and she didn't reply. It's sad because I was there for her when she was suicidal and I persuaded her I get a therapist. I understand her though because she and her therapist think that she might be bipolar. She's really the only true friend I have. Right now I'm just so anxious and stressed out because I have so much homework that I haven't don and that I don't have the willpower to do. Thanks for replying
     
    #4 listening owl, Apr 3, 2014
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