I came here originally to network. To meet people, make friends somewhat like me, and all that business. I don't know if I'm doing the 'right' thing by asking for...well. I don't know what I want anymore. I should be happy with my life. I've finally left the job that had tried to push me out, I've completely lost the urge for previous substance-abuse issues, and my transition is actually coming together. B And yet I feel completely unfulfilled and useless. I don't want to have to undergo expensive, painful and intrusive surgery/therapy to only be a shadow of the person I should've been years ago, always I guess. I don't want to keep going when I haven't got anything to really look forward to.
I think you're falling into depression. Feeling useless and unfulfilled without any apparent reason, just like you, is usually the first sign of depression, and so I think you should talk to someone close to you or to some therapist, because they can help you out. We on EC can only try to comfort you with words and give you advice, but this help, as you can see, is really limited. That said, I don't know why you feel that way, but I think there are really many things to look forward to. Don't you have some friends, or maybe a boyfriend or a girlfriend (I know, stupid question, seeing what you put as orientation, but I had to ask) to go out with? Even an evening spent with some good people could be a thing to look forward to. You should just try to be happy for the small things of life, and, step by step, those feelings of sadness will go away.
I have only just joined this thing too but trust me things will always get better! Never give up trying you will always find good people in the world and when you do they will be your friends for life. It might even get worse before it gets better but one day you will look back and be proud of yourself for not giving up! Stay strong
