So after this whole coming out incident which my Mum caused and won't take responsibility for, he said he would change. Yet he is continually trying to emotionally abuse me, by saying I'm rebelling against him for having my own views, telling me I'm stupid for having them and generally trying to force me to be something I'm not. There is no shadow of a doubt when I say I'm losing contact with him as soon as I move out, I'm not having him tell me who I can and can't love and I'm not having him try and turn me into an emotional wreck. How should I deal with him when these situations happoen?
I wish I knew what to tell you here. My dad was the same way, honestly the only reason it stopped for me was because my mom and dad happened to be divorced so I just moved in with my mom and ditched him completely. So...I mean I don't know how to make people like that stop =(
I find the best approach is to try and discuss things calmly and rationally. If he says your views are stupid, he needs to justify that with an explanation why. Otherwise it's just a baseless assertion with no good argument backing it up, and so you are justified in dismissing his point of view. If any of his views have merit though, consider them honestly. Arguments made just because someone doesn't "like" you point of view are stupid. But just remember, the same goes both ways. You need to be able to justify your own position and views otherwise they will be as meaningless. Hope this helps, Happy days
Aye, as Radioactive said, try to talk calmly with him about it. As others may mention later, he's most likely cycling through the five stages of grief (Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression - Acceptance), so it's reasonable to expect him to be angry. He may calm down as time goes on. At the same time, like Radioactive said, you need to be able to justify and defend your own feelings well enough that your own family members won't question them. They will be the ones who are most critical of you because they 1) have known you the longest, and 2) know you the best. You can be angry, definitely. But I wouldn't hold this against him forever. It's fairly common, especially for fathers, to react this way.
My mom is similar to your dad , I too have trouble dealing with this and even I don't have the best advice for this but I feel the same way you do I feel like not contacting them when I leave
I don't know how things are for Oceanic00, but with my dad that was never an option =/ Seriously, trying to have a civil discussion with him is impossible. He'll interrupt you in the rudest way possible and tell you how stupid you are and that you don't know anything. He'll never acknowledge you as valid, and mostly treat you as something beneath him. He's very closed minded and just disregards anything that doesn't fit his world view as well stupid =/ He'll also try to take everything you say out of context and twist it to fit some weird narrative he's concocted in his head...so you can't really win -.-'
