So, my mom is a self employed worker. She's had a cleaning business since I was like, 4 or 5 years old. She started it with this guy she dated back then, but they broke up after a while. She basically did the cleaning by herself until my sister and I were like 11 and 13 (yes, I know that's basically child labor, but relax, we weren't doing extensive tasks at that age, just simple stuff), and then we insisted that we help her because she was getting off later than the after-school care program would stay open. Sooo, to skip to the point, I'm 17 now, still technically a high sschool student, but I take all my classes at the local college in town doing Dual Enrollment. I'm also going through the finishing stages of getting everything together for the college that I ACTUALLY want to go to in florida, I'm applyng for every possible scholarship I can, I'm trying to keep our own house in order, and I'm trying to find time to be able to write and have free time (which seldomly happens anymore.) But, my mom, who is like 46 and still cleaning houses, still needs MY help doing HER job (my sister has moved to florida by the way so now it's just us two). I mean, naturally, I help her because she needs to and all, but I get really frustrated because her day ends when we finish cleaning... She gets home and she does nothing that she needs to do to get her business to expand like hiring workers and getting new clients. But MY day doesn't end when I get home because I still have millions of things to do. Yes, I know I live in the house that SHE pays rent on and bills for and I live off of HER dime and going to college with the money SHE makes, but, all of those 'SHES" can easily be turned into WE'S... I mean, all the money she makes is basically with my help, so it's technically OUR money... Anyways, sometimes I get mad at her and blow up because I'm already stressed enough being at that age that is the golden years of pressure. So, am I being selfish to not want to help my mom out all the time? I'm only one person, and frankly, I have a lot on my plate as it is... :bang::bang::bang::bang:
No I can understand where you are coming from. Have you ever tried explaining to her how you feel. Maybe you should suggest that you think she should expand her business since you are planning on moving off to a different college in Florida.
Yeah how DARE you want to do something other than clean the rest you your life. You young people can be real bastards! SHE decided to start the business, it is HER responsibility. Yes you live in her house and live off her money that doesn't mean she's bought you. You're not a slave, nor are you an employee. If she can't DO the job on her own, she needs to go do something else. I mean what happens when you want to go and do your own thing? "Oh sorry [company] I can't accept your job offer because I need to help mum with HER job". "Oh sorry future partner, I can't move in with you and start a family, because I have to help mum". No you're not being unfair, you live your own life, if she needs help she either needs to employ someone to do it or stop doing her cleaning job because CLEARLY it isn't working out for her on her own.
Yeah, trust me I have. I've done it calmly and I've done it through blistering rage, which wasn't by choice. She's supposedly working on flyers and a website and ads and all of that. I mean we have a plan, she just isn't taking the initiative. Yeah, this is basically the train of thought I have. I mean she's not going to force me to stay just to help her, she's not THAT extreme about it, that'd be absurd. Basically, when I leave in a few months to go to college, I'm done with it. It's just these past couple months have just been a lot for me and I just needed to make sure that I wasn't acting like a selfish person.
Why don't you take the initiative then and help her out. I mean start putting craigslist adds up for her and link her email in it so when people email the add it'll go to her. Also, focus on yourself and leave all that to her, you aren't in the wrong for being stressed and mad. But you are in the wrong for pointing the finger instead of pointing the finger at yourself and seeing what you can do to the best of your abilities. I honestly know where you're coming from so I know how you feel. And trust me, it'll get better as time goes on and you do small steps to help out. Also, don't even bother putting the stress on your shoulders since it's not you're responsibility.
Gosh that was very back and forth XD Im not really trying to play the blame game though, all I'm looking for is confirmation that I'm not just being selfish and ungrateful. I've been doing a considerable amount honestly, I've been helping out for about 6 or 7 years. I helped her come up with pricing methods and marketing strategies and such and my sister has made flyers and all that kinda jazz. I've thought about going ahead and sending the ads out and such, but it's probably best to let her handle it herself so everything's finalized. I dunno, the main thing is, I AM trying to handle myself without taking on the full burden of her responsibilities ya know? I've got essays oozing out the wazoo that I'm worrying about when I get home so it's hard to focus on her stuff too.
The thing is you shouldn't ever have been put in a position where you were expected to come home and do HER work in the first place...one of the most fundamental aspects of being a responsible parent is making sure that your child is able to grow and deal with their OWN things, and not have to deal with YOURS.
I'd say try and help out if you can, especially if she is still keeping you at home, but there comes a point where you need time for you and to do the things you want. At the end if the day, your life is "your" life and you need to be able to get in with it. If she can't handle her work herself, perhaps she needs to consider hiring help. If she can't afford they then I'm afraid her business is doomed as once you move on (which you inevitably will) she won't be able to cope anyway. Happy days
That seems rough, all I can say is don't cut her out, you will only regret that. Just tell her you need a night off to relax and catch up on things once or twice a week. If that doesn't work out you could always take the initiative for her and start posting about the position that is open in your mom's company on craigslist or some other similar site and when people try to apply just tell her and have her interview them. She will probably be grateful for the gesture
Am I really the only one who thinks that 'taking the initiative' and trying to organise a search for new employees she probably can't actually afford to employ might be a terrible idea?
