Hi everybody, its been a long time since I was last on here. Unfortunately my parents obtained one of those pandrora routers which has permanently blocked this sight, and since I now live at home I sparingly have time to get on here. Alright now I have a question that I really need an answer to from somebody who isn't embroiled in the chaos that is my life right now (you all can be totally honest with me ) I have come out to all of my close family, and they all have come to the point where they are like, "we don't like it. We love you, but if you think you can change then please do." In other words, not a whole lot of support in the gay department. My parents have repeatedly told me that they believe it to be just a phase, and that it will pass, even if that means I have to experiment. I'm not going to lie, it is a little bit depressing that they simply refuse to accept reality. Anyway, I have a very good friend of mine who has been trying to get me to go with him to school up in the city. The school that I am at right now is quite conservative, it and the town around it. There just isn't a large gay community, not to mention that my parents are freaking about what our friends and neighbors are going to do when they find out the truth about me. Gays just aren't very accepted around here. So here are the options that I presented to my parents, and the question that I need answered. Should I transfer to my friends school? It definitely has a much more liberal community and is much more my preferred style of scenery (love the city life, hate small towns.) If I do transfer than it means that I am going to have to reorganize my schedule for the fall semester, as I am going to have to stick out one more semester to lock in my 2 year degree that way I wont have to retake any gen ed courses. However, if I do transfer, it might mean adding a year and a half to my schooling, not to mention my scholarships only work for my local college so I would be forced to take out some student loans. But... I would be able to actually start living a much more relaxed life, be able to actually date other men, and just be well happy overall. What do you guys think I should do?
Let me answer your questions with my own. Are you happy now? Could you be happy where you're at? Do you have more of a chance being happy in the other school? And finally is being happy rather than worried and miserable worth losing some credits that you'll have to retake? Answer these questions truthfully and you will have your answer.
^^ This. Do what makes you happiest. While it may be difficult to do at first, think about what will be best for your future, not just your education but your emotional well being as well. There are always other ways to pay for school, do you qualify for Pell Grants? There are always scholarships around to - they require some work but they are there. Always can get a part time job as well. Most importantly if money is an issue be FRUGAL. I am paying back a mountain of student loan debt - but to me it was worth it. I have a great job in the STEM field and can afford to pay it back. It sounds like you are still young, take advantage of the opportunities that are there. Change can often be a good thing. It was for me - I moved 200+ miles away from home to go to school.
The decision had to be yours. It's kind of a being more comfortable vs finishing school earlier. If it was me, I personally would try and get my education completed quicker tv hat way you'd gain your independence sooner and can then go off and live what ever lifestyle you choose without the worries. Of course, during that time you'd meh not be as happy, but you would be able to get on with your life sooner. Of course, that's just me and it's completely up to you how you proceed as only you know how you feel about the situation. Happy days
I don't know how miserable it is for you now; nor how happy it would be for you in the city. If you immersed yourself in your school work and avoided your parents you could save time and money. But money can't buy happiness and who knows how much time we have.
Yes to be completely honest, I am extremely unhappy with where I currently live. Every time I am around my parents it turns into a hostile war zone, and to top it all off most of the friends that I currently have are rather homophobic. My decision is that yes, I want to transfer, but at the same time I am still kinda scared. The whole thing feels like a weight over the top of my head.
I can't imagine that being under that kind of stress at home is doing any good for your education or grades! College is worth enjoying, you can live pretty independently, you can spend a lot of time as you please, not to mention the potential to develop some strong support networks. This sounds like something you have to do for yourself. Your sanity and comfort is more than worth an extra year in school.
