1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Gay Communities Vanity has Succeeded in Making me Hate Myself

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Moonkit93, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Moonkit93

    Moonkit93 Guest

    All my life I have been abused. I grew up in a home where it was well known to me that my mother hated me and that I would never get any help. I used to fantasize that someday my prince would come like in so many fairy tales. But one thing my mother NEVER made me feel was hate for myself.

    I'm 20 now and I'm out of that place and I'm finally able to get on with trying to find my prince. Except one problem. Gay people are vain and I'm apparently hideous. I'm not even good enough for the likes of the creepy old man in the back of the bar. All I ever here is things like "Your nice but your too fat, I don't date hunchbacks, Are you sure your 20 your really ugly,".

    I even tried joining an online community especially for gay men who like fat guys called Chasabl and yeah I was pushed that far to willingly fetishize myself. But even there I'm not good enough. Well what is good enough huh. I'm not homophobic but I certainly feel a certain kinship with people who are now cause I really do hate the gay community.

    Congratulations gay community you've succeeded in making me hate myself. I have never contemplated suicide until I put myself up for your judgement. :eusa_clap well done. So I've forced myself to be confused maybe if I can force myself to be straight I might find love only to find out that its not possible. So here my solution I don't need your judgement I'm not the one who is hideous YOU ARE. I am beautiful and you are all just disgusting little trolls. I'm leaving the gay community maybe I'll find my prince someday maybe I won't but I know one thing I will NEVER try and rely on you again because apparently your openness and acceptance only applies if your pretty or handsome or hunky, well you can shove that where the sun doesn't shine I'm sure you'll enjoy it.
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    299
    Location:
    Lawrence, KS
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think you should blame only the gay community.
    The problem is with society (LGBT and straight) itself, and its over-emphasis on good looks. That's the source of your trouble; most certainly not the gay community.

    I'm sorry that you weren't 'good enough' for an online community that focuses on the physical appearance of its users, but honestly, that's not the type of place that you should be looking for acceptance or support.

    You should be looking here, on Empty Closets, for acceptance and support because you will never find a place more concerned with making sure that everyone is treated and respected equally.

    You grew up in a home where you knew your mom hated you. That has to have had some emotional impact on you as a person, which most likely gives you some sort of a predisposition to the world.

    You're 20. You and I are both young, Moon. You have plenty of time to date and explore the world, and to find someone who accepts you for you.

    For now, speak your mind and talk to us here. Don't turn your back on us.
     
  3. Clay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2014
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    What TJ said was perfect.

    I can't even think of a better way to respond than that.
     
  4. KWDBM

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2014
    Messages:
    250
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Arizona
    TJ said it wonderfully.

    Just to add, in MANY of those online dating sites, I would be shunned as well. As TJ said, there is an over-emphasis on "good looks", and society seems to dictate what that actually means. It is NOT exclusive to the gay community.

    In my past I've had 3 long-distance relationships, all met online, NONE through dating sites. (One on a writing community, one on a fandom community, and one through a blog community) None of *those* communities focused on physical looks, and maybe that's where you are going wrong. Try to find places online that *don't* ask for pictures or have tons of "body type" questions in the profile. Find hobbies and things you can connect with people about, that have nothing to do with the body.

    But no, it is definitely NOT the gay community. It's society as a whole.
     
  5. nikidion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    147
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Sorry, I couldn't help but laugh here :roflmao:

    Anyway. You are 20. What gay community have you been involved with? Gay community in clubs, online? As the previous posters said - these are places where people who are into other's looks gather. Those who are looking for someone in bars aren't looking for someone to discuss Dostoevsky with. They want someone to go out with, someone hot, someone to show off. Straight men want hot women, straight women want hot men, it's not just the gay community. Same for online groups. If they focus on finding hot gay guys, then you will be judged by your looks. You're pretty much going from one beauty pageant to another and complaining that all of humantiy is shallow. Look around you. Go to an LGBT book or hiking or whatever other meetups there are.

    I'm actually amazed that you're willing to force yourself into a straight life, before even trying to go to the gym, losing some weight etc.
     
  6. Radioactive Bi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,339
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK Midlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Be wary painting everyone in a group with one brush. Not all gay communities are like that. You are making a big assumption about a very large group of people. Just look at everyone here on EC. I've only been here a few weeks and everyone I've encountered so far have been great people with interesting insights into issues as well as kind, caring and accepting.

    I think I would go as far as to say, you are applying a bit of a stereotype here. If you look at one of my previous posts about stereotypes I think it's fair to say that the stereotype being applied here is a fail.

    I hope you meet some better people, but just remember, the people on this site care and we will be there for you if you need us.

    Hoy days :slight_smile:
     
  7. Mzansi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Beyond The Ganges
    You sold yourself out the second you began to do what others have done to you,
    And that is to use derogatory words to describe and generalize someone based on a superficial veil the hides true inner beauty,
    I'd be angry but when someone like you has the guts to berate every gay person in the world,
    As you have,
    I just feel sorry for you.

    Everyone is unique,
    And beautiful in their own way,
    By stooping to the level of the people you disliked,
    You have let them win.

    Get your act together and pull yourself out of the rut,
    If weight is such an issue,
    Then lose some,
    If not,
    Be prepared to wait and see,
    Someone will come,
    But will you be a beautiful person on the inside,
    Enough so to make a prince to see you as his own.

    It is NO BODYS job to be your prince,
    And if you want want,
    Make sure you're fit to call yourself a prince too :slight_smile: