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Do you feel too ashamed to hook up?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by hatethiscloset, Apr 12, 2014.

  1. hatethiscloset

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    So I've been struggling for a while with my urge to hook up with this guy that I met online and once in person. He seems pretty nice and he's not a creep at all, and I think I would really like to hook up with him. My problem is that whenever I am about to ask him i chicken out, mostly because I feel ashamed about hooking up with a random stranger (who happens to be 10 years older than me). Does anyone else feel this way about hookups? I'm not sure if I should take it as a sign to just not hook up with this guy or if I would actually have a great time with him and need to get over this embarrassment first. Most of it stems from me thinking about what my friends and family would think. How do I stop being ashamed (or maybe another question would be if i should feel ashamed or not)?
     
  2. Andrew99

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    Age is just a number if he's a keeper go all the way with him don't chicken out plus it's probably good u ask him to do it bc then he'll think that you're interested in him and that your worth it good luck to u :thumbsup:
     
  3. thrnvlpidj

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    Casual hookups make me feel cheap
     
  4. LostAndAffraid

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    I've never had a hook up, I'm really not open to it either, I would rather have a relationship any day of the week.
     
  5. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    If you're ashamed to hook-up, why do it?

    I don't do it myself. I prefer relationships any day.
     
  6. Chip

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    If you're feeling anxious and reluctant, and you felt it important to tell us that the guy is 10 years older than you are, I'd take that as a pretty good sign that you'll probably feel shitty afterwards. So no, your reluctance isn't a bad thing.

    Particularly if you're inexperienced and younger (under 25), I'd suggest focusing on finding someone closer to your own age, and letting any sexual experience come naturally, when you feel something for the person, rather than just as a casual hookup. A lot of people here on EC have written about hookups as first-time experiences with older guys, and most of them described feeling pretty gross afterwards.
     
    Hamiltan likes this.
  7. Theron

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    It's important to listen to your gut. I've never hooked up. I've had two gay relationships and two straight ones (after the first, abusive gay relationship).

    We waited several months before doing anything.
     
  8. Incognito10

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    Hookups are not for everyone. I don't judge those who do.

    With that said and reading about your reluctance, I am reminded of an old saying, "Always put off until tomorrow, what you should not do today." If you feel hookups are not your thing and that you will likely feel poorly about it afterward, you might want to think more to the "afterward." How do you put off your lust to hookup? Masturbate. Your desire will likely return at some point, masturbate again. At least you're avoiding getting into a situation you do not want to deal with.
     
  9. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    I hooked up with about 3 guys in my life and I regret all three times. I felt used and cheap and extremely guilty. Would I do it again? Probably not. I prefer relationships, and sex doesn't buy you love - the guys just move on to the next "easy" person, and forget about you. And it hurts too much because I can't detach emotion from sex.

    I'd advise you against this hook up. Rather wait for a guy who really cares about you, and who you're in a relationship with. Makes the whole thing so much more special and intimate. In the end it's your choice to make though. Good luck to you! :thumbsup: