so I'm not sure how many people are in their 30's, single and have been for awhile, I know it has a lot to do with my sexual orientation, finding women who are also into women and also compatible and single is not an easy task, its also not like being straight where almost everyone knows they can get with you unless you say otherwise, and people dont have to hide their sexuality when straight, I've really been feeling the whole single thing, in the past 4 years I've been single, not that I haven't had "friends with benefits" or gay-straight flings" but something long term..not so much..i can't seem to get past the one month mark its not even official, and as soon as i have sex with the person it all goes down hill, i dont believe i suck in bed ive had compliments and my gf of 4 years told me i was good..so I dont think that's it its been making me feel insecure about a lot of things, because I see a lot of couples together and one has a career job or they both do, im 30 and im not even in a career nor have anything more than some college and a business certificate, I work in an office as a front desk clerk making $9/hr, I have maybe $1500 in my bank account, no car just a moped(not that I need one because of the city I live in) AND no gf, I feel a lot of things have been holding me back but I dont know what or where i'm going wrong or what I have to do to get there, people always tell me to go for this and that in life because im getting older, I'm constantly called "nice" and I've been told I'm good looking yet I feel at my age I should be better off, there were some incidents in my past where I was in a dark place(i was abused) and just over the past 2 years ive gotten my shit together but not many know only my family and close friends, so their always wondering why some beautiful seemingly stable 30 yr old girl is single and with no career, I have definitely improved a lot since a year ago, I was in a really bad place, no car, no job, no life, I was depressed so its an improvement I moved out of my home state and to somewhere where I felt i could have a new fresh start but its dwindling with all this pressure to do more, can anyone offer me advice? the thing is I wish I could afford a counselor but with work and not having the money its not something I can do right now, I feel everyone I end up liking is going to leave me for someone better
I can definitely empathize with this. I am in a very similar boat where I have had no luck with finding a partner. Heck I have never had a single good sexual experience, and at this point I really want to have a relationship with someone. I don't have a lot to give as far as security with being an artist and writer, and I tend to get lost in my work. I love what I do but it tends to make me completely broke and I struggle making ends meet. Not great for finding a potential partner. It was only recently after falling in love for the first time that I realized I really wanted a relationship and don't feel so content with living alone any more. I don't know what advice to give but I *definitely* hear what you are saying.
I like what you wrote, thank you, glad there's someone else out there on the same page, i feel straight relationships are hard to deal with let alone homosexual ones
You could be 29, going through a dissolution (civil partnership version of divorce) and still having to support your ex who hasn't worked for 6 years, keeps getting her heart broken by a different woman practically every week and needs your help with anything involving paperwork because she relies on you to know everything rather than figuring it out for herself. I have a decent job but it's difficult to save, no vehicle and we live with my parents as she has nowhere else to go and I can't afford to move out on my wage alone. Subsequently, moving forward and finding love is difficult because of the ex's dependency. You appear to be doing well for yourself. Keep it up and stay positive! (^_~)
We should start 30 and single club. Don't know what to tell you honestly, my life is going nowhere too.
I'd be down for that. A lot of my single friends jokingly refer to it as the boat club as in "all in the same boat."
I hear you! I'm in a cross roads in my career. It's like driving to work deserves "Highway to Hell" blasting on the speakers every morning. Working on getting out, but not sure if what I'll be going to will be better. It's hard when your single in late twenties / early thirties. People are settling down, already paired up or starting families. Don't know if I have any advice, but I sure can emphasize with what you wrote.
