1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Ending My Dad's Homophobia Once And For All

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ZenMusic, Apr 16, 2014.

  1. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    My dad has caught me watching the Lesbian Storyline on Waterloo Road and he said he's gonna talk to me about it later. I'm going to confront his ideals and hopefully change them. I refuse to let him tell me who I can and can't be. What should I say?
     
  2. twizt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2014
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tennessee, U.S.
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Is he homophobic and heterosexist? Is that the problem?

    Ask him when he "decided" to become heterosexual?

    You could point out all the homosexual tendencies in various animal species around the world and how it has always existed (both with people and other animals).

    There's this really good video that turns heteronormativity on its head and shows how we normalize heterosexuality while stigmatizing anything else. Imagine A World Where Being "Gay" The Norm & Being "Straight" Would Be The Minority! [Short Film] - YouTube
     
  3. bigbiboy95

    bigbiboy95 Guest

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2014
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United Kingdom- Central Midlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    It could be nothing, he could be telling you that you can love same sex gender and be happy(if he doesn't know your gay), he may come on the lines that if your gay that he will accept you once and love you. If he knows ur gay, he may tell you how girls can be gay aswell(even thouh u probably now that). Dont panic to much, if he becomes very homophobic and starts being agressive and discriminating, you can actually get him arrested under section 28 of the equality act of 1990
     
  4. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    "Sigh" I couldn't do it. He just...He scares me so much and I just couldn't find the words to say. He started shouting me and I just got so scared.
     
  5. LostAndAffraid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    flint
    Well at 14 your dad probably seems this imposing figure, you should throw a ghandi wrote at him, "where there is shouting there is no true knowledge." But on a serious note just try telling him you can't change who you are, you can only be who you are. People are just people after all, no matter who they are our where they come from, even the bible teaches that you have to follow what is in your heart and follow your inner compass, trust your gut and all that jazz.

    Don't deny who you are just cause your dad doesn't understand. That will only lead to you being miserable.
     
  6. twizt

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2014
    Messages:
    50
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tennessee, U.S.
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    I am sorry it did not work out. There will be other times if you do ever want to say something. Don't let his lack of support cause you misery - just find it elsewhere.
     
  7. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    He started shouting at me because I said that Liberal is bad is an opinion, he'd said that this country has become too Liberal, and then said he was not mentioning the merits or de merits of liberalism, so why say "This country has become too liberal" and then say you mean nothing buy it?
     
  8. Radioactive Bi

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,339
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK Midlands
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It looks like he is just throwing another opinion at you. If he can't back up his opinions with legitimate reasons then you can clearly see he doesn't really have a valid argument.

    Just stick to using rational arguments. They trump opinions every time.

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
  9. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It took me a long time to stand up to my dad. I got angry that I couldn't do it with words and one day he went too far and I punched him in the head hard enough to split the skin on his forehead. That's what happens when you try and force yourself to do something and work yourself up. You do stupid things.

    I'm telling you this because if you sit there and make yourself feel bad because your dad scares you, eventually you will do something stupid like that.
     
  10. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    He also said that "Liberal is Bad" is a fact, without telling me these facts.
     
  11. LostAndAffraid

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2014
    Messages:
    323
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    flint
    Just don't let your dad's views affect your own, all I can say is go through life with an open mind and don't let the biases of the previous generation dictate what you believe.
     
  12. Z3ni

    Z3ni Guest

    Wow.. You have a powerful punch
     
  13. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    The last thing he said was that I needed to respect who he was, and that the material I had on my PS3 was not who he was.
     
  14. BookDragon

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2013
    Messages:
    4,605
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Cambridge, UK
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Never ban me from your wedding.
     
  15. Andrew99

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Oh ocean you're one of the bravest people I know on EC :slight_smile:
     
  16. Kenaz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2013
    Messages:
    151
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Youth is an odd time as we are still individuals but have parents who are, usually, socially and legally responsible for you. The reality is others have their opinions and views and they do not need to be rational or considerate, unfortunately. That is just the reality.

    Focus on understanding yourself, accepting who you are, and if you can (it is hard at that age, as psychologically it is a time where we seem to be hyper-aware of our peer group and its social influence), try not to force others to understand. The best way to affect another is through your personal example.

    Work on being the individual you'd like to be and be alright with that. Know that you will never please everyone, and when you stop trying you will find greater peace. This sense of solidarity and peacefulness within you as well as being the person you truly are at heart will rub off on others, whether they tell you or not. Don't expect it to change anyone, but it will, no matter how small or conscious they or you are of it.

    Let me emphasize again: focus on exploring who you are and being the best you can be. Do what you must to be able to smile in the mirror and be comfortable in your own body. You will never find peace living for another, it takes enough work (well spent, however) to develop and come to peace with who we are as individuals. When one lives authentically and at peace, you will find those that radiate to you for who you are.
     
  17. Clay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2014
    Messages:
    618
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Scotland
    I wouldn't worry too much about it.

    Shouting doesn't change anything, it's basically just loud noice.