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I Feel Horrible

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ZenMusic, Apr 17, 2014.

  1. ZenMusic

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    So my dad decided to continue on from the conversation yesterday about the thing he was going to see on my TV, before I ran out and turned off the TV. I lied, and that isn't like me, and I feel terrible about it, but I was scared. So he said I'm not to watch anything related to gay in this house, I have a diseased mind, there were two football players from Nigeria and one of them was said to be gay in a Newspaper, they were brothers one was called. Justin Fanashu and the other John Fanashu, and I think Justin committed suicide 2 years later, after his brother disowned him. He also said he does not understand that world, and he does not want to understand it, and that I'm barking up the wrong tree. He said that he will not accept this, and that if he decides I decide I don't want to be part of his family , he will help me get there. I then spoke to my Mum about his "ignorant, bigoted beliefs" (My exact words) And she said she wasn't going to sit there and let me say stuff like that about him. And she basically said I act like a know-it-all, I'm a challenging child, and then she started talking about how if Dad feels something was innapropriate, he can tell me so. She then started screaming at the top of her voice after she said that from my Dad's perspective, noone wants to see two boys kissing. And I said well you're gonna see people kissing sometimes, you can't just go "Yuck!" Like a child and you need to get over it. She told me to finish what I was doing and get out, she said even when someone is explaining something to me, I still don't get it, because maybe I ask questions she feels she's answered already? My sister said I'm probably going to be the most challenging child yet.

    My Mum has high blood pressure, and I wasn't trying to rile her up or anything, I just wanted to talk, maybe I was a bit rude when I said "Ignorant, bigoted beliefs" Was I being immature?
    2. My other sister said that even though I feel I know more than most people my age, I'm still a kid, and I need to accept that.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Immature? HA! hahahahahaha. ha. No, I'm not done. HA HA HA HA HA.

    H-wait for it-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    You called a grown man out on his bigotry. Stood your ground when asserting well thought out beliefs in the face of two people who think it's disgusting. You stood up for yourself and everyone like you against your parents.

    NOTHING about that is immature.

    You are a kid, that doesn't mean your an idiot. It CERTAINLY doesn't mean you have to agree with your parents.

    Feel PROUD of yourself.
     
  3. CaptainClyde

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    I hate that this is happening to you. You may wish to get somewhere neutral/safe. I'm with ElliaOtaku. You're more adult than most "adults".
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    I think it's great that you are thinking for yourself and standing up for what you believe, but I am concerned that you are exposing yourself to an awful lot of stress and difficulty in doing so. While you live at home and depend on parents for security, it's sometimes necessary to keep your counsel (hard as that may be). Once you are old enough to live independently, you can say what you think and feel and argue your position without fear - that's the time to stand your ground, if you wish to.

    I have read a number of postings that you have made on EC about the difficult relationship with your Dad, which seems to stem from conservative and bigoted attitudes back in Nigeria. It's a real shame he is not thinking more deeply about where all of these archaic values originate from (the dark days of British colonial rule). For me, any self respecting person of Nigerian descent would want to break free of the shackles of that long era of abuse and negativity and find a new way in a new world order.

    Seems to me you have a well considered and 'adult' view of life and you have good values of tolerance and respect. Don't be ashamed of being liberal and ethical.. be really proud of who you are (I am proud of you), but pick your arguments carefully for the time being.
     
  5. LostAndAffraid

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    I agree as well, I think it's awesome that you have an open enough mind to challenge your parents beliefs,good job, your on your way to being an excellent human being. Unlike half the population.
     
  6. ZenMusic

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    I've done nothing but cry all day, and my mum decided that I'm not going to the youth club because I only go for an hour, that they wouldn't be back when I would be, even though it was her idea anyway. I feel pathetic for crying so much.
     
  7. PeytonRose

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    First of all: I'm with all the above posters and they all pretty much took the words right out of my mouth. Stand tall! You stood up to your own father and called him out on his crap. That's more than what some can say. You should be proud of yourself.

    Second? You're expressing your feelings. There is nothing pathetic about that. At all. Let it out, and then make a plan for yourself. Do you have any other support at home?
     
  8. ZenMusic

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    No, my sister is 26 and lives with her 1 year old son, but she comes round frequently.
     
  9. ZenMusic

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    It's like he has this aura of depression and fear permeating from him, and my Mum makes some stupid things lately, and she. Seems to think it was alright to tell him that I was gay.