At work, I was being trained for in a new position by a coworker who I thought was a nice guy. I had a little crush on him (thought he was gay) when I started working in the restaurant but it faded. Anyway, I called "corner!"to make sure I don't walk into someone. My coworker was on the other side and said "Really? You sound like a girl. Get a man's voice." I've been told I'm soft spoken so I know I don't have the deepest voice. I just don't get what bothered him since I was loud enough for him to hear me. Would any of you think that a soft voice is feminine quality?
No, but people seem to think it is. Consider that most people are told as children NOT to make a whole load of noise every time your mouth opens and you start to wonder how having a 'soft voice' isn't almost entirely universal.
Well, he sounds like a lovely fellow... The ignorant consensus is that being soft-spoken is a negative quality for men because it is neither intimidating nor dominant. I've been told that I'm often soft spoken because of my tone (I have a very stereotypical psychologist-like voice). He just wanted to fluff his ego by belittling you; I wouldn't put any weight on his words.
I think it is slightly feminine but not really~ I wouldnt assume anything about someone if they are soft spoken though, in fact I like it better because I get intimidated by really loud sharp voices ^.^
Just think of drill instructors in the military. Everybody knows about the super loud guys and how scary they are, but then there's occasionally a guy who only talks *very* quietly when correcting recruits. They know that if he gets to the point of yelling, you have screwed up in a HUGE way. Soft-spokenness isn't inherently feminine IMO. It just means you do more listening than talking, and that's not so bad.
In general, yes but there are plenty of reasons for a man to be more soft spoken. It's a good trait even if I don't have it.
Yea I'm a loud person in general. And opinionated. But soft spoken people tend to get noticed when they want to be. But the gender stereotyping problem still exists with male = loud and dominating and female = quiet and submissive. Yea that's not the case fora lot of us here.
Is soften spokenness a feminime trait? Yes, in my opinion no matter what gender you are etc, I feel its a feminime trait. I'm not towards it or anything, I myself am soft spoken half of the time anyway.
No, not inherently. It's perceived as feminine due to the implication of feminine weakness. However, soft-spokenness actually gives meaning to loudness in a way that no loud person will ever have. It also shows some level of self-control to be quiet. In any case, even if it were inherently feminine, there's nothing wrong with that.
I can be loud-spoken, but I'm usually soft-spoken in public due to social anxiety. All of my brony/pegasister friends think of me as the Fluttershy of their friend circle. Anyway, I think soft-spokenness can be feminine, masucline, or neither. It really depends on the person.
I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "soft spoken-ness". Generally, when I think of someone as being soft spoken, it means they have a quiet voice, not a high-pitched, girly, feminine voice. I mean I've often described as "soft-spoken", because I speak very quietly, especially in large groups, people have difficulty hearing me. But I don't think I have an overly feminine voice, while my voice isn't particularly deep or manly, I sound more like a teenage boy than I do like a woman. So can clarify exactly what you mean by "soft spoken-ness"? If you have a high-pitched, 'girly' sounding voice, that's not what I would describe as being "soft-spoken". But your co-worker attempting to insult you by saying you have a 'girly' voice suggests that he is an idiot. You can't really control what voice you were born with. While some gay/bi guys put on a 'camp' voice to try to sound more 'gay', for the most part voice is a poor indicator of someone's masculinity/femininity and their sexual orientation. There are straight manly men with high-pitched voices, and gay feminine men with deep voices. As for what I consider "soft spoken-ness" to mean... Obviously being quiet and meek carry feminine undertones, but also childish ones. Women and children should be seen but not heard. One reason why I often get mistaken for being much younger than I am is not just the way I look, but also my whole demeanor of being quiet, shy, soft-spoken. I don't look, sound, or act "like a man".
^ Erik? People call you soft spoken? Hmm. I didn't expect that from a guy who's so outgoing (and posts in essays). I'm surprised, really. I'd say that there are three subsets of soft-spokenness. The masculine subset would be the "quietly intimidating" type. The neutral subset would be the "plain old quiet" type. The feminine subset would be the "shy and meek" type. Since people are complex, they can be more than one, a mix of several, etc. Overall, it really depends on the person and their situation. I'd say the OP is the neutral type.