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How to escape this vicous circle of thoughts?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by IwillBeStrong, Apr 20, 2014.

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  1. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Hi guys,:smilewave
    Well, I've got a problem. I'm a 18 year old indian girl who is attracted to girls and isnt yet out to anyone

    In the past months I've noticed that everytime I see a pretty girl or someone I could be attracted to I start thinking about how it would feel to be with them. These thoughts actually make me happy but just after imagining a girl with me my vicious circle of thoughts start coming up. I start thinking that I never could be happy with a girl because of my indian parents and how much shame I would bring on my family and from there on it goes on like that without an end. Another major problem is as I've never had a girlfriend before so these thoughts of girls come often in my mind and so do those disturbing thoughts about how it is not going to happen that I will have a gf once. Does anybody know how I can stop thinking about all of this? And how I could stop imagining myself with every atfractive girl I see? I'd be so grateful if anybody could give me some advice on this. Thanks :slight_smile:

    IwillBeStrong
     
    #1 IwillBeStrong, Apr 20, 2014
  2. CharlsOn

    CharlsOn Guest

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    I know these circle of thoughts. I use to destroy them with loud music:grin:
    Great help, I know:grin:
     
    #2 CharlsOn, Apr 20, 2014
  3. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    At your age, you're pretty much doomed to this, I'm afraid. Hormones, you know? But why can't you ever have a girlfriend? That thought, you do need to destroy; I'd recommend writing down all of the reasons why you think it isn't possible and why it is possible and then once the latter is greater than the former, burn/ shred the list and the negative thoughts with it. :grin:
     
    #3 Gates, Apr 20, 2014
  4. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Haha I would have to listen to loud music all the time for this method to work :grin:
    Ps: Du bist aus Deutschland? Ist ja cool, ich komm aus Österreich :slight_smile:
    Schön gleichsprachige auf diesem Forum zu finden :slight_smile:
     
    #4 IwillBeStrong, Apr 20, 2014
  5. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    OP - EC requires you to make posts in English so they can be understood by mods so, you may want to edit that/ post a translation.
     
    #5 Gates, Apr 20, 2014
  6. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Oh great! These hormones again!
    However, thats a great Idea wih the lists! So i could get those beliefs of not being able to ever get a gf out of my mind. Thanks a lot! :slight_smile:
    Well as I mentioned before my circumstances (being an indian and everything) kinda hinder me ..and so I subconsciously tell myself that I cant be the way I am .. I know this has to stop.

    ---------- Post added 20th Apr 2014 at 10:16 AM ----------

    Oh gosh Im srry! :frowning2: Im new here I didnt know that. Translation: Hey you're from germany! Thats cool Im from Austria. Pretty cool to find people from a german speaking country here! :slight_smile:
     
    #6 IwillBeStrong, Apr 20, 2014
  7. CharlsOn

    CharlsOn Guest

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    Funny:grin:
    And yep, this idea with the list seems to be useful:slight_smile:
     
    #7 CharlsOn, Apr 20, 2014
  8. Opheliac

    Opheliac
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    I'm indian too! *high five*

    What Gates suggested is good. And you aren't going to live with your parents your whole life. Are they actively homophobic?
     
    #8 Opheliac, Apr 20, 2014
  9. IwillBeStrong

    IwillBeStrong
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    Wait, what? You're indian too? Oh that's great! *high five*
    Great to know that other indian lesbians actually exist ^^

    Well, no but for the next few years Im definitely going to live with them. :/
    No they are not actively homophobic. Its kinda like a "taboo". We rarely talk about it.
     
    #9 IwillBeStrong, Apr 22, 2014
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