Sooooo... I need help! :help: Lots of it. First off, Hi there! I'm gay ( also atheist ) and I'm 13... and a half. No one knows about my sexuality except probably my nosy little sister. She went a little too far in wanting to know what Wattpad username was, and bam! I left my tablet unlocked, she snuck in and saw my library, filled to the brim with boyxboy and niam smut... She didn't react much, I took my tablet back, and we've never talked about it since. So, I'm planning to come out on NCOD this year and contemplate on whether I should come out or put it off for later. See, my dad's this tough policeman who is extremely homophobic, and also religious ( albeit not as religious as my mom ), he can be quite harsh at times and is really strict. My mom, on the other hand is an extremely religious and quite homophobic woman, although quite to the contrary is understanding (sort of ). I do, however, plan on coming out gay before coming out atheist, for quite obvious reasons, therefore. (really religious country) So, should I come out, or not?? Or do you think I just need to wait for the right time? *~~*end of atheism, for those of you who might get a little uncomfortable with me I've kept being a closeted gay since 11 ( And no, I'm not one of those mindless kids roaming around, asking for candy and your phone. I'm quite smart and far more mature than my age prescribes. ), which is quite early for someone to accept and understand being a homosexual. Although I've never had problems or conflicts with being gay, I just hate it when my parents - or anyone else for that matter, associate homosexuals with the flamboyant, girly stereotype. ( no offense to those who are. (*hug*) ) It's just that I'm not like that, and quite a large proportion of us aren't. It also pains me to hear whenever I get scolded and my mom or dad go like " are you gay? then why do you talk/act/walk/dress like that? ". And every time, it just hurts, no matter how deep down inside it is. Okay, so what do I do with it? Especially because they're my parents. Bullying has been a big part of my life for now, although rarely physical, the emotional and psychological torment is excruciatingly painful and depressive. It's been going on for 3 years now, started when I was 10, survives to the day. I was in the advanced class, and no, it was never what you'd expect there. A specific group targeted me on a daily basis, and on multiple occasions made me cry in the middle of classes, it was always that way, the verbal abuse, never ending, always focused on "fag" and "he's gay!" sort of sneers, with me ending up denying every bit of it while trying not to cry. :eusa_doh: *Side Note: I had a cup of tea and a box of tissues while writing this, another emotional breakdown, I guess. ( I need my respite. ) **Recently ( End Of School - Summer ) Crush Issues. I officially have a crush ( or crushes, for that matter :icon_redf ) So, I have a crush on this guy who doesn't even know I exist, and probably remembers me as the idiot who ruined the graduation. :bang: :eusa_doh: He is really cute, and I know one of his best friends, so, should I let him know, or maybe just keep it a secret? And if I do tell him, it has to be in person ( he doesn't have Facebook, or Twitter ) and also becuase I blush ( as in I basically look like a tomato ) whenever I walk past him or look at him, and when worst comes to worst, a little someone down there gets a little too excited and leaves a noticeable bulge with him. It's very common and I get a little uncomfortable around him, since I don't want anyone, especially him, to see my awkwardly obvious signs of attraction. Although, I do think it might help if I do get to tell him...
Ok, 1. You need to come out when you're ready and if it doesn't feel right, chances are it's not the right time to tell them 2. Do you have any support anywhere? Can you tell anyone in our outside of school?
Wow! Lot's of things there, so let's deal with the most important stuff right now - your parents! If I've read your posting correctly you are 13/14 now and planning to come out to them, first as gay and then as athiest and they are both very religious and homophobic. I would like to ask you to really think about what you are planning very carefully as it could backfire and leave you in an extremely vulnerable position. It seems likely they will take your news rather badly. While you are still at school you depend on parents for safety and security and you could be about to compromise both. I don't like to discourage anyone from being true to themselves and coming out, but I really, really don't want to see you make your life a whole lot worse either. Sometimes it is better to wait until we are able to stand on our own feet and live independently before telling conservative parents, even if that means keeping our heads down. It sounds as though things are difficult at school too, so my advice with parents may also be relevant to the situation at school. If you do come out at school it could make the bullying worse and end up getting back to your parents too. I just want you to think about all of this carefully and consider what could happen if things go wrong. It might be hard right now, but how do you think you would cope if things get even worse? We care for one another on this site and want the best to happen and that's why I'm saying all of this. This is a safe place to say how you really feel, but there is no certainty of that safety in your real life situation.
