Another college/grades talk with my mother. I don't know what she expects. My grades have always sucked even when I have tried so why would I continue to try if it's getting me nowhere. I can't force myself to do work and I don't know why. I know I need to get it done bc it's important but yet I just don't do it. If I sat in a room with nothing but my homework it still wouldn't get done. I have no idea what I'm doing after high school so there's that. I have nothing to, I don't know, I guess work for. And I hate school so why would I want to undergo 4 or more years of it. I understand I need to go to college, not going and ending up a minimum wage employee for the rest of my life scares the shit out of me. So why doesn't that fear of not wanting that to happen make me work hard and get better grades??? What the fuck is wrong with me. I just don't care about failing because it's happened so many times before (I do care I guess bc it shows, to people who don't know me, that I'm stupid. I know I'm not stupid, my teachers know I'm not stupid they tell me constantly my grades don't reflect how I act in class) I know I'm smart I just don't do homework. WHY CANT I DO THIS. i feel stuck. And stupid, and it seems so simple to fix. It's not.
Well... Do you have trouble with the following: 1) Task initiation 2) Remaining focused on a task/ get bored easily 3) Fear failure
1and 3 most definitely. And it depends on the day with number 2. I am incredibly absent minded and forget to do things too so that doesn't help at all.
You *could* have an attention problem or it may just be anxiety combined with lethargy. I'd recommend talking with a counselor as they can teach you strategies to minimize these problems.
I'm sure you have a planner for school. Write down all the homework in it, so you don't forget. After school go to the library and for one hour do as much homework as you can. No distractions, no staring at the wall, just do homework for one hour. Begin with the subjects you like the most, find the easiest, do as much as you can in an hour, forget about the rest (unless you want to go on). It is very simple. Don't dig in your feelings, don't think if you want to do it or not, just do it. Soon it will become a habit and few years later you will be thankful to yourself for studying. The key is setting realistic goals for yourself - don't aim at getting all A's, it will only stress you out, seem unachievable and you'll drop everything. Be realistic, do what you can and focus on what you like.
Attention problem (ADD) is one possibility; another that not many know about is that autistic spectrum stuff can lend to difficulty self-starting, and organizing one's mind/thoughts in order to work a plan.
Guys, please. OP wrote that she hates school, doesn't know what job she wants to do after it, doesn't really care about college, and yet your first guess is that she has a mental illness? She doesn't. She doesn't care about school, doesn't think it will do much good for her later - so why do homework? I wouldn't do it either in such a case.
Wow. Given your labeling our suggestions with a term that is considered a little bit of a pejorative, any more, I have a bit of a view into what your attitude toward things neurological/psychological is. Attention Deficit and Autistic Spectrum stuff is not "mental illness." They are wiring differences. Much like homosexuality. ALSO not a "mental illness." :dry: She may or may not. -Either have a neurological difference, OR a "mental illness." But as neither one of us, I presume, are doctors who have given her a clinical evaluation, nor know her in real life, please allow me to take your absolute clearance of "diagnosis" with a grain of salt. :dry: We were only trying to help; offer suggestions of things to consider looking into. She sounds frustrated, a little despairing, down on herself, and sad. These are all indications that she feels not in control of things she wants to feel she has control of...and that is one of the indications to look into a neurologically or psychologically based issue. When something is "interfering with your day to day life" in such a way that it is causing you unhappiness, pain, or distress. Perhaps it's just me, but I read more than just a "school sucks, why do I even have to be here, I wish my parents would just butt out and let me live my life until I've decided what I want to do with it" sort of vibe. I read some genuine distress/despair in there over what she is having trouble doing. A case of "What I want to do I do not do, and what I do not want to do, I do. Help/what's wrong with me/what's going on?...I'm sad." Is that accurate, TKM? Since it was literally in the title of your thread, I didn't think I read you wrong... *I should also note that I've guessed what I have because her words sound an awful lot like me, when I was despairing due to what I thought was just a severe, unaccountable procrastination problem, at about the same time in my life. College or university is often the point at which young women, an underdiagnosed population for certain differences, disabilities & disorders, hit "the wall" - they can't "pass" any more (that is, compensate for their possible difficulties with other acquired skills & raw creative intelligence - which often is what got them through high school).
