Struggling with my faith: Being a Christian and Bi just doesn't work

How you feel and what you believe will ultimately be your choice. No one here can tell you what to do and all we can give is our opinion.

But let's address the issues here. First of all being bi is a completely natural thing and you must first accept that there is nothing wrong with you. I know that can be difficult, especially if you have been brought up and follow a religion that sees you as fundamentally broken.

Let me be the first to tell that you are not. There is nothing wrong with you or how you feel and to anyone who cannot accept that, it's them who have something wrong with them, not you...

Now despite being an atheist, I'm not going to tell you not to be a Christian. I have no right to do that. But perhaps you could examine your religion with a more critical eye. If you are choosing to give up your religion, you need to do it because you no longer believe, not because some of the people upset you.

I suggest you take a step back and do some personal reflection as to what you feel and believe. And if you are afraid because of your religion, just ask yourself, would a loving god judge you badly if you made the best attempt you could to understand with the mind you have, but came to a wrong conclusion (not that I think non-belief is, but that's a different debate).

Anyway, whatever you do, I sincerely hope it turns out for the best.

If you would like to discuss further, feel free to message me.

Happy days

 

I wonder if Christ came back today what he would say to some of his so called "Christian" churches.

When I was hearing homophobic crap from a pastor from my former church, none of it was allegedly quotes from Jesus, it was all other parts of the bible.

 

Here's a quote from Jesus for your pastor to chew upon:

 

That has a sort of us vs. them feel to it when applied to other churchgoers, but I tentatively agree with it. Just because some people use Jesus to keep their nasty prejudices doesn't mean he doesn't love and embrace you fully. If you believe God has a plan, you'd better believe that making you just the way you are is part of it.

 

Have you looked at this website?
Gay Christian 101 - Affirming God's good news and Bible truth for all GLBTs.

 

Agree with everything that's already been said. The Bible bashing rhetoric from some Churches makes me sick to my stomach because it's so contrary to the most fundamental teachings of Christ. He summed everything up in a few short sentences (summarised): Love God and Love your neighbour - there is no commandment greater than these.. on these two commandments hang all the law and prophets.

It's very simple really. Jesus never told us to cut and paste passages from scripture to preach hate and intolerance.

You can be bi and Christian - of course you can. Don't allow the idiots to destroy your faith Phoenix. Your faith needs you!

Personally, I would travel some miles to worship in a Church that accepts me for who I am. It might be inconvenient and I might not make it every week, but I'd rather do that than go to a local Church where I'm not welcome. What do you think?

For a bit of inspiration I'll finish with this news report from the BBC, in which the wonderful Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa shares his views. This is the sort of Christian we should look up to:

BBC News - Archbishop Tutu 'would not worship a homophobic God'

 

If they are true Christians they will not judge because it's not their right or their job to judge. If they truly know their bible they will know that. That said, I know it's hard to live in the "bible belt" of America and try to live a life that isn't "normal"....although the only "normal" I recognize is the setting on my washing machine but that's a different story. The point is, if they are truly loving caring Christians they won't care about your sexuality or what you have done in the past. But, you still need to prepare yourself for the possibility that they might not be. Also, I don't know what the reason is that you are "bouncing" from one location to another like it says to the left, but staying in one location and finding (and sticking to) a "home church" that will accept you instead of moving from church to church will probably make things a lot easier for you and make you a happier person. Hope that helps.

 

I'm Bi and Christian and I totally undestand you, I've been there as well :icon_wink What I truly believe inside myself is what made me reconciliate both terms, and I believe in a God of pure love, justice and respect to the other that wants me to be happy and to live my own inner truth given by Him.

The Bible may condemn homosexuality in one or two texts, but remember that the Sacred Book has been translated MILLIONS of times, so the possibility of changing/cutting/adding information to such ancient documents is high. As they say: "who tells a tale adds a tail".
Besides, it is known that some books have been cut from the original Bible and are probably hidden in the secret library of the Vatican, which leads me to believe that there is more to be known and interests behind it. I fully trust in God, but not in the human actions.

Above it all, listen to your heart, it's where you will find His word

 

I'm an evolutionist and I have not been in a church since I was 10

 

phoenix89 I hope that your conversation goes well...however, I am still wary.

I am a Christian too, and I can relate somewhat to your feeling of distrust of the Church, right now. I think what helped me reconcile my faith with my orientation was simply God's voice in my heart...telling me He knew me, had always known me, and loved me unconditionally. And that I need not fear.

I have another couple of resources for you:

https://www.gaychristian.net/
GREAT articles

and

The Christian Closet - Welcome

The latter is actually the website of a licensed gay Christian counselor who helps people just like you in your situation work through their struggles with their Christian faith and their orientation. Her website's articles, resources & links are amazing, and so encouraging. (You don't have to do a counseling session to benefit from that! However, she also does regular counseling sessions over the web or phone.)


I would highly encourage you to read up some of the resources we've talked about, and as another poster said - find an affirming church you can visit, even if it's a bit of a trip and you can only get to it semi-regularly. I think your pain and the hard feelings you're experiencing right now would be greatly soothed by being shown God's love for you, through the heart of Jesus as shown by the believers there.

I will keep you in my prayers. (*hug*)

And if I may, can I recommend meditating on Acts 10:1-11:18? I believe grace covers more than most human beings can imagine. <3

I'm open to talk any time you need, if you'd like, as well.

 

I came out as a trans female to a friend of mine who is a devout Christian. At first she used the line, "God made you perfect. You were born a male, so you're a male." Recently though she decided to support me. She said that she loves my name and no matter what wants to make sure that I know that she loves me. Not only that but she has a feminine son and me coming out as trans* got her thinking about her son. She's not crossing that bridge until it comes up, IF it comes up but I'll be there for her if/when she needs it.

The catch is though she said something the other day that really stuck with me. She said that Jesus himself never EVER said anything against homosexuality. She said that no matter what I need to remember this and that Jesus and God love me for me. (It should be noted I'm agnostic but that's besides the point.) She also said that if anyone tries to give me the religious remark of God doesn't love me for whatever reason to send them her way and she'll set them straight.

I suggested she join these boards but I haven't seen her very active. I'll let her know about this thread though so she can weigh in if you'd like

 

I know how you feel - I went to a Catholic middle school, and one of the teachers said I'd go to hell for being bi. I was lucky enough to be part of a liberal church and family, both of whom supported my coming out. It's important to know that you are not hated by the religion as a whole - I have met many Christian laypeople and clergy members who are gay themselves, or support people who are LGBT. Just remember - there is no way to make God hate you - He loves everybody the way He created them.

If you need any help, you can message me.

 

Not all Christians judge by your sexuality. There are even Churches just for gay people. God loves us all and shame on anyone who has made you feel differently. Two men in the bible state being gay is a sin. Paul I believe and then there is the whole Sodom and Gammorah story. But the story about the city set to fire is a city full of gay and bi and straight people who sleep with multiple folks as a fornication as well as rape each other. There is no love there. And Jesus was sent to us to die for our sins. When he walked the earth many things changed. No where does he says being gay is a sin. In my opinion as a straight christian as long as you LOVE it isn't a sin. But if it is a form of fornication then it is a sin no different than a straight person who does the same.

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 09:44 AM ----------

Please to ANY of you who have been casted out of your church or made to feel unloved don't turn your back on God....it isn't his teachings to cast out anyone. And to anyone who says you are a sinner, they are a sinner as well and no sin is bigger or worse than the other. I've literally left churches because of how they preach against gays. But in the country town of Guyton, GA I did find a church where the preacher teaches love. Read the books of John. He speaks deeply about the teachings of Jesus. That is what a true christian is. Love.

---------- Post added 28th Apr 2014 at 09:47 AM ----------

And YES SOFIYA I love you for you my friend just as God does.

 

Hey! I'm a Christian and I identify as bisexual too.

I really never had much trouble excepting me being bisexual other than religious reasons, only at the very beginning. But, every now and then, because of my family believing all of the gay stereotypes and that being LGBTQ is a sin, I get really insecure.

I questioned my faith because of this too, but I looked at some points...

1. Why would God punish for a thing such as love?
2. What if my church and my family are making the same mistakes as "Christians" who used the Bible to support slavery, discard women's rights, and go against interracial marriage when it comes to gay people as well?
3. In the Bible, perhaps things are translated in a way to where it seems like it means what it looks like, but just like when translating some of the Korean songs to English, I notice that a lot of the time, some of the different phrases have a deeper meaning in Korean.
4. After the same Sodom and Gomorrah story people use to claim that the town was destroyed by homosexuality, Lot's (the guy who was saved from the destruction) own daughters had sex with him and had a son, and God didn't even punish him for that!!
5. If polygamy and incest were acceptable back in Old Testament times, since homosexuality is way more decent than those two, then why wouldn't loving homosexual relationships be okay?
6. Also, many scriptures that seemingly refer to homosexuality may really just be talking about homosexual rape, which is so much different than a loving relationship between two people of the same gender.

Another thing, if so many Christians have so many different beliefs on homosexuality, than how can anyone really know the truth?? Because of that, I just decided to go with my heart and what felt true to it. It may also help your faith if you just focus in your personal relationship with Him, instead of all the religion around you. Remember, religion is a man made twist on what THEY think God says, but in a relationship with God himself, you find more peace and comfort and love. Plus, if He, apart from all the religious stuff you hear, if God personally doesn't tell you anything through your heart about it, then I would just be happy and continue to follow your heart: With both your faith and your future relationships with people!

I understand how much it hurts, my dad had yelled at me just for wanting to LGBTQ community once I stressed it to him. No matter what I tell my parents, they both want to ignorant and not even listen to what I have to say, so I just forget about what they think. And let me tell you that's not easy, but also remember you do want to love and be thankful of your parents to for taking care of you, but don't let them destroy you.

Also remember that your didn't grow up in a time like you did where you could think for yourself. They were basically forced to believe the same lies that generation after generation taught them. And after 60 (or however old your parents are) plus years of believing the same thing, well, you are probably going to be brainwashed almost forever - There is still hope they can change though. But even if they don't, know that God has a loving heart and He wouldn't judge you for what you couldn't help!

If you need to get out of church for a while, that is absolutely fine. Because church doesn't equal being a Christian. I really don't have much of a choice in the matter, but if my pastor starts preaching something negative on homosexuality, I'll start to leave to go to the "bathroom".

So, yes, it hurts, but please, don't feel like you have to abandon God just because of haters who use the Christian label wrongly! Remember that God loves you, we all love you, and even some other Christians (like me) love you for who you are as well!!! Stay strong and if you ever need to talk more, let me know!!

 

^Sooo much wisdom in that post.

Seconded.

 

Check out the gay christian network. they have some helpful resources.
I'm super christian and Gay myself and I tell you, it hurts.
I'll be praying for you.
Remember, God made us gay for a reason, and some people will not like it. But he loves us all the same.

 

Hey I am Christian and Bi (*hug*)

The way I see it is, it's not about who you are, but being a Christian can help you to live your life in a way which doesn't hurt people or cause anyone pain. If you know that's the path you are following, you can't really go wrong :icon_wink