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is it ok to not go to this event, or will i look bad?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Eisenhower, Apr 27, 2014.

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  1. Eisenhower

    Eisenhower Guest

    im a sophomore in high school and my school is having a 'secret assembly' (which isn't so secret actually) and what they do i an awards ceremony for little things. they give awards for like, perfect attendance, being student of the week, having above a 3.8 for the whole year. so its not a big awards ceremony. the thing is, you don't know if you get an award or not, you find out when your name is called. and its in our auditorium, there is a stage and rows of seats that go up. probably about 600 seats. and they will do it one grade level at a time, and there are about 500-600 students per grade. so I'm going to have to walk up on stage in front of about 600 people all in my grade level and get an award.

    i have horrible anxiety and worry a lot. i like to know what is happening exactly to feel ok. they would have to let me know if I'm going to get called, where i have to go exactly and everything. this has no notices or anything. they didn't want anybody to even know about the assembly, the whole point of it being called 'secret assembly' (but word got out obviously)

    i was elected to NHS and i had to do an induction ceremony on the same stage and the whole auditorium was packed full, and they didn't give us any information about what we were doing until 5 minutes before the induction. (all we did was walk across the stage and get an award paper) but that was hard for me because I'm so scared and like to know whats going to happen far in advance. the only reason i dod that is because i would look horrible not going. i mean, its NHS, you pretty much have to go, people wouldn't think well of you if you decided not to go.

    i was shaking in my boots the whole time, and scared. but i did it.

    this assembly will have hardly any importance though. and i don't want to go to school an that day. my problem is i want to know if that would be an ok thing to do. i wouldn't look bad would i. i would just pretend to be sick. i wouldn't lie to my parents, i would tell them i didn't want to go, but i would just tell the school and my friends that i was sick. the only thing is, i will genuinely feel horrible not going. i will feel like coward, if that the right word. but if i go i will have a small anxiety and panic attack. and i already had one of those at my NHS induction ceremony. so i think I'm good for the year.

    i just have real bad anxiety that most people don't have, so its hard for my friends and family to understand.

    so, would i be safe not going? or should i suck it up?
     
    #1 Eisenhower, Apr 27, 2014
  2. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    On the one hand I don't want to encourage you to get into a habit of ducking out of things just because of anxiety, because in the long run it's not going to do you any favours...on the other hand, we had this sort of thing when I was at school and I never bothered going because I flat out didn't care, so I don't really have any reason to tell you to go to it...

    Really it's up to you...all I would say is that if your only reason for not doing it is anxiety about being in front of people then if you're not already, start thinking about how you can work on that...
     
    #2 BookDragon, Apr 27, 2014
  3. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    I don't do those events either. I mean, hey, if it was me, I wouldn't go.

    IMHO those kinds of things really put students on the spot.
     
    #3 CharlieHK, Apr 27, 2014
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    Two divergent thoughts: One, if you're convinced you can't do it, then I don't think it's the end of the world if you skip it.

    On the other hand, you'll have various situations throughout life where you need to be able to handle these sorts of situations, so if you can use it as an opportunity to work on yourself and become more comfortable and adept, I'd say go for it.
     
    #4 Chip, Apr 27, 2014
  5. Mirko

    Mirko
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    If you already know that you will feel horrible should you decide not to go, that would be something to think about further. Weigh all the pros and cons of going and not going, and then ask yourself which ones do you feel more strongly about.

    The other thing to consider, and as Chip mentioned, is that you will encounter different situations and challenges in your life. Going would give you the chance to work on some of your anxiety, and perhaps become aware of a strategy that would allow you to overcome some of your anxiety when you have to walk into a room filled with people.

    That said, it is really up to you and how you feel about going. Either way is fine.
     
    #5 Mirko, Apr 27, 2014
  6. Jack of Hearts

    Jack of Hearts
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    The best thing you can do to fight anxiety and fear (which is also a type of anxiety) is to face the cause of them multiple times.

    If you still have time before the event, I suggest you to get out of your confort zone and do little things that makes you contact with other people (you can try volunteering for example). This way you can prepare to stronger stimuli such as that event.

    You can also go to a doctor and ask for medication; the beta-blocker group of drugs might help (they are pretty safe and don't cause dependance).

    Above it all, be yourself and don't think of what other people might be thinking of you. Just do what you feel it's right inside yourself :slight_smile:
     
    #6 Jack of Hearts, Apr 27, 2014
  7. Miiaaaaa

    Miiaaaaa
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    I'd go.
    It's gonna be uncomfortable, but there are times in life like that where you're going to have to do it. Might make these more comfortable in the future! :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Miiaaaaa, Apr 28, 2014
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