Hi everyone, For the most part, I feel pretty content most of the time. I don't regularily feel sad or upset about anything. I try my best to not get upset or cry. But i don't know sometimes i feel like i am a monster who cannot feel. The only feeling i've been getting lately is anger. I get angry a lot lately. When i dress as a female, i'm happy, i emote, i am VERY expressive and confidant i can definitely light up a room as a female. As a man, i don't smile, i don't cry, i don't emote at all. Does that make me a cold emotionless monster?
I'm just going to repeat something you said here and I want you to think about WHY I've chosen it. As a man, i don't smile, i don't cry, i don't emote at all. Are you a man? Do you like being a man? Do you have any desire to be a man at all? No. Not by your own account. You know who you are. Let's see how you described the person you are: When i dress as a female, i'm happy, i emote, i am VERY expressive and confidant i can definitely light up a room as a female. When you are you, you are happy. You use emotions. You are a functioning human being. All that suggests to me is that you don't like presenting as male, and really that shouldn't come to you as a suprise.
I get that, in "guy mode", I have little to no feelings. Dressed as me, I at least have a little more emotion.
It's definitely a trend, when hiding, even subconsciously, I'm not very expressive with big emotions. But when I'm actually being myself I can actually show how I feel and it's great.