Im gay and i have found out months ago. And recently today, my dad saw my youtube and i like to watch Lush. Its a gay couple. And he kept asking me if i was watching it. And i could tell he was mad. So i lied. He said good, and also said its not normal. I could tell he hated gays. He said guys date girls not guys date guys. He kept on talking about how its not ''normal''. He also said if i was gay, he would kill me. I don't no if he meant it or just gonna kick me out. Im not ready for any of that. What should i do? Im pretty sure my mom wouldn't accept me as well. :/ Also i really like this guy, but i don't know if he likes me. He acts gay but i don't know if he really is. I feel awkward tension between us. Its not bad tension, but we both get tense. I don't know if he could see me getting stiff. But i notice him getting weird. And I thought people only get weird around each other because they like each other. What should i do to find out if he's gay. For sure, and if he likes me.
Your dad sounds a bit of a potential problem .. But he is probably - in a weird way - trying to protect you ( or himself ) by trying to steer you away from " gayness" . Sounds a pretty careless hurtful remark that he has not really thought through all the same. Try and work out what your parents really think. If may not be as bad as you think. Are you school age? And do you have brothers or sisters?
If your still in school I would recommend waiting until you are moved out and supporting yourself (or have some place to go if things do go wrong). The best way to know how your dad or mom feels about homosexuality is to test the waters. Your dad seeing that video might of made him suspicious about your sexuality, but the way he reacted to them really doesn't sounds like he's going to be easy to come out to, but you never know as Bingo said above me he may (in a weird way) be trying to protect you (or himself) by trying to steer you away from being gay. Try and find some ways to put it out there and see how they respond without actually telling them your gay. There's a lot of ways of testing how people will react to you being gay without actually outing yourself to them, such as asking them about what they think about gay marriage or see how they react to a gay character in a TV show. If your dad seemed threatening it might be in your best interest to just not let him know until you know for sure that it would be safe to come out to him, and that he wouldn't do anything to hurt you. If you are young you really don't have to come out if you don't feel comfortable doing it at the moment, I'm not saying that you should keep hiding it from everyone forever, but you should wait (don't rush it) until you feel comfortable. As for the guy, maybe you could try testing the waters with him and see what he thinks about homosexuality. Maybe if you brought the topic up and he is gay, you would make him feel comfortable coming out to you because you broke the ice and made it less awkward, and even if he's not gay and seems to be accepting of homosexuality maybe you could take the leap and come out to him, its always nice to have good support, but if you feel it might affect your friendship then wait. I hope that you can figure it out, it's hard coming out, especially if you have locked yourself in your closet for a long time. Just remember to take it as slowly as you need, if it takes you a year to come out to one person it takes you a year.
