Sexual Identity Crisis and extreme depression...

I'm going through a lot of things right now. One was lately feeling like I was a lesbian or at least bisexual, but then I started reading about "completely straight women" who are sexually attracted to, fantasize about and have sex with other women so I don't know what to think anymore. Even though I'm married to a man, I just keep thinking about the time I was with a woman and how I'd like to do it again... I keep analyzing my experience over and over again. I think about how I had "female ejaculation" (sorry to be graphic) my first time with a girl, something I'd never had with a guy unless I was on drugs (again, sorry to be graphic), and I don't know, just how something about it felt so "right" and fulfilling emotionally...

But I feel like I'll never get the opportunity to be with a woman again so should just forget about it. Yet I have this obsession with finding a girlfriend and can't get it out of my head.

And then there's the issue of my extreme depression... both kind of related and another thing on its own. It's to the point where I can barely function anymore. I don't have energy, motivation or enthusiasm for anything. I don't get the pleasure from activities I used to. My house is a mess because I can't motivate myself to get up and clean it. All I do is work and sleep, and it feels like I'm falling short in work, too. I don't mean to be this way. It's like I just keep closing in on myself more and more and it's not getting better, it's getting worse. I don't know what to do or how to fix it. I want to get to a doctor but my circumstances make it hard (no car, no rides, no money) I just don't know what to do. This isn't who I am. I used to give my 110% to everything. Now it's like I've fallen so far behind.