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I have this unhealthy fear of men hitting on me

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ChloeKiss, May 9, 2014.

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  1. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

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    It is eating away at me on the inside.. The fact that they hit on me IS flattering but.. I don't find them attractive.. You know? I can't bring myself to like them any more then a friend. Yet they still check me out.. ask me out.. and blah blah blah. I know it's my burden to bear being feminine and all but honestly.. I don't like men. I'm a lesbian and I sometimes just want to scream it in their faces but I can't because i'm not out of the closet.

    Honestly.. I find it sweet if they are sweet about wanting to go out with me.. But when I come across sleaze bags I just want to beat them up. It's like i'm a straight guy in a female body. I hate thinking of it like that.. Because I am 100% female and do not feel like a male one bit. Only when it comes to checking girls out.

    Do any of you gay girls have any advice for me? Preferably from your own experiences?
     
    #1 ChloeKiss, May 9, 2014
  2. Rainbowchild

    Rainbowchild
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    I'm a bi sexual girl, & mostly attracted to females. I have a boyfriend also, and yeah I'm a bit confused but I know what your feeling.. I'm a really friendly person, people are attracted to my personality but guys always get this annoying idea that they should flirt & it's gross to me that guys just wana get some. I can't stand getting hit on by guys. Guys disgust me. I wish I could be treated with respect rather than hit on. I want respect as a woman, Im not trying to sound conceited in ANY WAY but I'm a good looking girl, it sucks. Guys always be looking & not seeing. I think it's just the world. Most guys only have 1 thing on their mind. Disgusting.
     
    #2 Rainbowchild, May 9, 2014
  3. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

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    Yeah.. Well while I get the same feelings I guess it's just in their nature.. I don't ''Hate'' men.. I just don't like them. Some people assume that because a woman likes other women she must hate men. Not the case. But I do think I have major trust issues with a lot of them. But how could that contribute to me being a lesbian? I've always thought women were gorgeous. I don't like to sound conceited either but I am decent myself.

    I wish you and your boyfriend the best :slight_smile:
     
    #3 ChloeKiss, May 9, 2014
  4. imnotreallysure

    imnotreallysure Guest

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    Oh, look, another thread being used as an excuse to complain about how awful & disgusting men are.
     
    #4 imnotreallysure, May 9, 2014
  5. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

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    What part of what I said was indicating I thought men were disgusting? I specifically said I feel flattered when they ask me out.

    I have beautiful brothers.. cousins.. and great guy friends. I don't think they are disgusting. But if I come across that way don't think Lesbians are the only ones who hate on the opposite gender.
     
    #5 ChloeKiss, May 9, 2014
    Last edited: May 9, 2014
  6. imnotreallysure

    imnotreallysure Guest

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    I'm referring to Rainbowchild's post. I can't help but feel slightly irked when I see people lambasting half of the world's population as being sleazy and sex-obsessed ( and I feel just as irked when I see people assuming all women talk too much, are too weak etc). Making massive generalisations about such a large demographic is not a wise thing to do.

    I can understand why you feel uncomfortable when men hit on you, especially if they're insistent and won't take no for an answer, but you really can't presume that the majority are going to hassle you until you give in and say yes, or that they don't respect boundaries and won't leave you alone if you're clearly not interested.

    The fact that this happens though is just another example of societal norms refusing to die. People expect men to make a move on women - a woman making a move on a man would be deemed as desperate - but there's no reason why that needs to be the case.
     
    #6 imnotreallysure, May 9, 2014
    Last edited: May 9, 2014
  7. ChloeKiss

    ChloeKiss Guest

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    Sh!t I just wrote on your wall and then realised you replied to this. Oh I think Rainbow didn't mean to come across that way.. Maybe you did rainbow but maybe something happened to make you feel the way you do?

    I know so many straight women who hate on men.. one even stated she wanted to kill her boyfriend. I thought she was going crazy. But I think when people get so wrapped up in hate for a certain thing about a certain gender it almost sticks to them everytime they see the opposite sex. And they get hostile automatically. *sigh*

    Anyway thanks for your replies I appreciate it!
     
    #7 ChloeKiss, May 9, 2014
  8. Gates

    Gates Guest

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    Yeah... I understand. If a straight guy hits on me, it ticks me off and makes me instantly dysphoric; if a gay guy hits on me, I just find it flattering even though I have no interest.

    I've found that mentioning an obsession with work tends to lessen the interest. >.<
     
    #8 Gates, May 9, 2014
  9. Kasey

    Kasey
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    "No thanks" or "sorry I'm in a relationship" are polite lies if you are single.

    Being attractive isn't bad. Besides it's the first basis someone has to judge you on...

    I dunno maybe I'm a simpleton. Don't let that bother you.
     
    #9 Kasey, May 9, 2014
  10. Theron

    Theron
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    Operating under the assumption that women NEVER do this to men.

    I've been hit on by plenty of rude, egotistical women who think they're all that and a bag of chips. And when they get rejected, some of them have flat-out lied and said I've done something like try to feel them up to stroke their wounded egos and get me in trouble.
     
    #10 Theron, May 9, 2014
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