Hi all, well the title kinda says it. So I am not the most buff guy you'll ever meet nor do I want to be. I'm not skinny & I have some muscle but I just don't get this obsession with huge guns and 6/8 packs. Ok it's fine if someone wants to look that way but stop forcing that on me. I have no time & not even that much interest to bulk up in a gym, I just don't like it when friends?(people that are prolly on roids or look like they are) challenge me to arm wrestle I mean you know I'm not gonna beat you, I know I'm not going to beat you so why all this fuss... Is being able to beat up others the definition of being male? I'm pretty masculine, well I like some sports, cars etc. (again the definition of masculine is not clear in my head, but i'm not fem) but what I want to know is why people force others to conform to a body type in the mags, it's like the same with those anorexic girls, being peer pressured in to stuff, people I'm happy being a slightly skinny long haired rock music liking dude and just because my lineage/ethnicity is mixed with east indian (Again more asian pressure to conform to the latest hype alfa male genius hero)doesn't mean you have to put pressure on me. :dry::tantrum: rant over lol, but tell me anybody else has pressure to conform?
Magazines are just selling ridiculousness when it comes to body image. I've never wanted to be all bulked up, or even toned to the point of being ripped, in my opinion it's just not worth it, I prefer being jaunty. If you don't want to be ripped, then you don't have to be, and shouldn't be. It's perfectly alright to be as you are, there are many different body types for guys, all valid, and worthy of love and respect.
Actually, I have never liked bulky ripped super macho-men that appear in mass media, I am more of skinny-sometimes-kinda-chubby guys, or you know, actually-existing men.
I don't think anyone expects you to be ripped - and I don't think anyone cares that you prefer being skinny. You understandably feel 'pressured' into looking a certain way, but nobody is actually pressuring you at all - you see these men in magazines and think that they're telling you how to look, when in actual fact they're just appealing to the pretty overwhelming majority of gay men and straight women who like toned men (not necessarily bulky) - and the same is true for women who are slim or skinny, and are admired by straight men and gay women. Continue to look however you please - nobody is really bothered, but you must understand that men who have muscle definition are appealing, because that is what people want to see - it's physically appealing and usually an indicator of good health. It's just the way it is. If you place a skinny man on the cover of a workout magazine, nobody will buy it. But I can't really relate to what you're saying - at all. I find skinny men extremely unappealing. I'm not ripped, but I do have muscle definition - and I like what I see when I look in the mirror. I couldn't say the same if I had a flabby belly and spindly arms. (FWIW, I generally prefer guys who have bodies like David Beckham - toned, but not bulky).
I have the opposite issue. I like being muscular, but I get "looks" because I'm a girl. I hate how society assigns gender to fitness levels. Everyone has the right to their own bodies.
You don't need to conform to any look. I know there is a lot of peer pressure these days, but I tend to ignore it. I'm fortunate enough to have a good build due to my decades of martial arts training. But I don't think it defines me as really masculine. I'm not whst you'd call a manly man or anything. Anyway, what I think is more important is that you're healthy. That's more important than looks. Happy days
While I enjoy the view when a big muscular and ripped guy takes his shirt off, I certainly don't feel that any guy 'must' look that way. I don't and never have, although I'm fairly muscular and have worked out regularly since college. But I'd never hold the view that a guy 'must' look like a bodybuilder to be attractive or masculine. As far a beating people up - with the right training even a little skinny guy can fold, spindle, and mutilate a great big guy. So, whatever. Be yourself, be comfortable in yourself, and pursue a healthy lifestyle. And possibly expand your circle of friends to include guys who are more mature. In you're concerned about meeting someone, there are plenty of guys who like skinny guys or don't care one way or the other about that and will like you for other factors irregardless of your appearance. Todd
Right? this is exactly how I felt yesterday.(I have to admit that as a teen I did look at that toned/defined chick differently) Thanks for the replies guys, I guess I can attribute this post to being embarrassed yesterday because some kid a few yrs younger then me challenged me to an arm wrestle and I had to snoop my way out cuz I knew? he'd beat me, (this guy is really strong, people say he's on steroids but he explained it was his genetics his granddad and so were all really strong) Anyway I'm not talking skinny stick skinny, I said I was slightly skinny, healthy with definition and decent arms and I am happy this way but sometimes I guess insecurities take over when they shouldn't. And suddenly I felt some pressure (more because he was 18 and I knew him since a kid and I have this weird bs in my head that I should be stronger/taller/better than people much younger than me), yeah maybe that group of friends is/are mentally immature.
Ehmm So this means a HE-MAN should NOT have esteem issues?otherwise he is not a he-man? Or is this just a standard of what people expect?
It means people make a stink about Barbie, but nobody worries that boys are damaged by unrealistic body expectations due to He-Man or any other extremely fit action guy. I and probably millions of other young boys acknowledged the truth that they are toys, and normal people don't look like that. Honestly, how many bodybuilders do you come across in a normal day? Probably none. Society may be impressed by big cut muscles, but it's not an expectation.
There's a big to-do about the pressures the media put on young girls to look like Barbie. There is no congruent controversy on the pressures portrayals like He-Man put on young boys to look unrealistically huge. Personally speaking, I more aspired to look like Teela, myself. EDIT: ^ Argentwing swooped in before me, nice one.