WHY AM I GAY? For those of you who may have wondered why you are gay, lesbian, or bi - and have not found an answer that satisfies you - read on. I came across this explanation so many years ago I’ve forgotten the source but it made so much sense to me at the time that I have never forgotten it. And I hope it makes sense to you also. If it does, it will change the whole landscape of your existence. Realizing that you are normal after all does make a difference. It won’t change the opinion of anti-gay people but that is their problem which they will eventually have to deal with. First of all, you must believe in, or at least accept the idea of reincarnation - being born into this material existence many times and I mean many. Might be 600 to 1,000 times. The number of times is not important but what you experience in each incarnation is important. You take those experiences with you as you pass from one incarnation to the next - and they accumulate. The goal is to return to Nirvana or the House of God. But that is the ‘goal.’ This essay is about the ‘why.’ With a little observation, we can all agree that there are four distinct sexual orientation groups, i.e. straight, gay, lesbian, and bi. With further observation we will discover that within each group there is a wide range of demonstration. Take, for instance, the lesbian. We observe the extreme masculine lesbian and variations to the extreme feminine lesbian - why? And the same is true of the gay man, the straight individual and bi individual. Why is this? At least that is what I kept asking -- why, why , why? And I was not getting any kind of acceptable answer from my family or the clergy. The answer I love the most is, “Well, it’s a mystery.” Very simplistically, in order to reach the ‘goal,’ the individual must gather experience, truth, spiritual unfoldment. And how is that accomplished - by passing from the positive to the negative pole of existence - the male body, the female body. Please keep in mind that the following explanation is a condensed version of what may actually take place over an extended period of time. There are no hard and fast rules on the experiences folks encounter. It is meant only as a blueprint of why these things happen to folks like you and me. My intention of presenting this theory is to hopefully relieve some of the suffering I see all the time with folks who simply do not understand why they are what they are. Perhaps with a little understanding will come some relief of the anxieties we have all experienced. And who knows, they may even learn to love themselves and others a little more. No guarantees there however. Okay, here we have a soul that has inhabitant a male body many times. It is now time for him to take on a female body and the experiences it will have to offer. And so, he passes out of the male body and in due course is born into a female body. But the transition is not clear cut. Some of the masculine characteristics have come over into this new incarnation. In particular, the sexual attraction to females which in a male body were well developed and acceptable. So, this soul grows to maturity and discovers that she is attracted to females instead of males as is the so called norm of the day. She is a lesbian and fulfills her life as best she can under those circumstances one of which is not knowing why this has happened to her and not the neighbor girl across the street. She passes on and is reborn again into a female body, matures and discovers that she is attracted sexually to both men and women. She has evolved to the bi sexual level but still doesn’t know why. She fulfills her life as best she can, passes on and is again born into a female body. Only this time she is attracted to men only. She has achieved the level of being straight. But since this is the ‘norm,’ she doesn’t question it or wonder why. Her attitude toward other women who are lesbian or bi may vary but this is not relevant in this essay. And so she continues to be reborn into the female body and with each incarnation becomes more feminine . At some point she becomes so feminine it is no longer an asset but becomes a liability. And so it is time for a change. She passes on and in the next incarnation she is born into the body of a male, grows up and exhibits some pretty distinct feminine characteristics. We’ve all observed this type of individual. They may or may not have retained their attraction to men - there is no rule about this. But, for the sake of this discussion let us say that he retains his attraction to men and thus becomes a gay man but, again, does not know why. He continues to be born into a male body becoming more masculine. Since there is no hard and fast rule, he may or may not experience bi sexuality and simply move to the level of being straight. The process continues until this soul becomes so masculine it is time for a change once more. Every soul on the face of the earth goes through the same process on some level and with some intensity. No two experiences are the same. So there it is. Having this knowledge won’t change who you are, but a little understanding of the ‘why’ may change your attitude toward others and why they are the way they are. And though you may agree with the premise outlined here, the ignorance on the subject still remains. The only warning I would give is not to try and convince anyone else of this truth - especially if they are straight. More then likely it won’t work and may even backfire on your. Truth is a funny thing - most people trip over it all the time, fall flat on their face, get up, dust themselves off and move on as if nothing happened.
It's great that you've found an explanation that has helped you make sense of things. Not sure how many converts you'll have on here, though!
Interesting, but doesn't do it for me, but you pointed it out quite well: First of all, you must believe in, or at least accept the idea of reincarnation - being born into this material existence many times and I mean many. There's my problem. I like the approach quite much. Talking about nirvana, you seem to take the Hindu approach of this issue. It's interesting to read nevertheless!
Hi uniqueusername3 - My intent in posting was not to convert. If it was then I would have to take the philosophy of a salesman into account. One sale in every 100 sales calls. Just thought it would be a good idea to post it and let nature take its course if you will. Hi Quem - I have studies most religions over the years. Used to live near the Philosophical Research Society in L.A. Manly Palmer Hall, who built the place, spent his whole life bringing ancient and modern religions forward and explained them in laymen's language for dummies like me - and it worked. Not to worry - we will all make it home sooner or later - no one will be left behind - trust me on that one.
I see, you know quite a lot about it. :icon_bigg I guess I meant Buddhism, I seem to remember that Hinduism has something called samsara, the cycle of birth and rebirth. And to get out of it, you achieve the state of moksha. Anyway, since I'm not religious (open-minded though), I don't really believe in all these things, but I do find it very interesting. Having lotsa fernweh myself, I hope there is a place called home. :icon_bigg
Interesting explanation! I'm not sure I necessarily buy it, mind you, but it is food for thought. One thought I've had is that there probably are reasons why people are born gay. Einstein said: "As I have said so many times, God doesn't play dice with the world." Perhaps we do reincarnate, and being gay is part of Karmic debt. It would be interesting to know how the late Rev. Phelps would reincarnate. Although I also think it's possible that we may be born gay for other reasons. Lessons to be learned from the experience. (And I feel that this "journey" of self acceptance has been a learning experience for me. And I probably am forced to ask questions about myself that most people never would ask because they can glide through life as a straight person.) Or being gay may be necessary for a particular mission have in life.
I don't really like this approach.. Now you're actually saying that, when you didn't do well, you end up more/less gay, thus saying that being gay/straight is the result of something negative.. I don't think this is something you wanted to say.
You're right. I expressed myself poorly. No, I don't think sexual orientation one way or the other is necessarily a direct result of something negative. I don't consider being gay, for example, to be a negative thing. But I can imagine that in some cases someone might be born gay because of something he or she did in a previous life. Particularly something negative towards gay people. For example, taking Fred Phelps: what better way to satisfy his Karmic debt than to have him reborn as a gay man in a situation where it hard being gay?
I knew you didn't mean it. (*hug*) That's indeed a likely approach if you adapt the idea of past lives.
I'm uncomfortable with the idea that being straight is something to acheive, or that being either too masculine or too feminine becomes a hindrance. Both of those ideas seem pretty unhealthy if your goal is to accept those things about yourself. To each their own, I guess.
Hi valerie 247- - I apologize to you for not properly conveying the principle and purpose of the essay I posted. It's a process that takes many lifetimes and when all the experiences which are required have been accomplished the soul does not return to the physical plane. Becoming straight is not a goal in the process, it is one of the steps. The hindrances I am referring to are the hindrances to further spiritual growth. The goal of nature or God or whatever you wish to call it, is to have you return to the original status from which you came. When that process is impeded, it creates a change. I think that if you just look around at the folks who pass through your life you will see all those steps that I am referring to. It's somewhat like going to school. Achieving any grade in school be it 5th, 6th, 8th etc. is not the goal, it is a step forward toward graduation. Being straight, gay, bi, or lesbian is just a step and when accepted as such it does relieve some of the unnecessary anxiety. At least it did for me. And I am hoping it will for others. That was the purpose of posting the essay. But thanks for reading the essay. I hope you will agree that it is at least thought provoking.
Let's see. I definitely have no trouble with the notion of reincarnation and past lives. I definitely believe that we experience what we experience in this life, because it is what the Universe needs us to experience in order for us to meet its goals...and that we are subjected over lifetimes (whether by our choice between lives, the choice of the Universe, or simply random chance) to a variety of experiences that will get us there. And I've long felt that yes, the point of this is to reach a state of one-ness with the Universe. Very much like what you describe. I do get Valerie's discomfort with your language of "achieves the level of being straight". But I think I understand what you meant by that...not "level" so much as simply "status" or "situation". I also don't think it's a given that "we all can agree that there are four distinct sexual orientation groups" (for one thing I don't see gay and lesbian as distinct sexualities). But I also don't think that assumption is necessary to your thesis. For me, though, the primary value of this model isn't in helping me recognize what *I am* the way I am. I've always been pretty comfortable with who and how I am. Rather, I find it invaluable in understanding why others are as they are...why do haters hate? Because they haven't yet learned to love. My partner's father was an incredibly hateful person...blamed me for corrupting his daughter, would not speak to me, would barely speak to her and generally not civilly...never accepted her choice to be with a woman. I told her for years that if he doesn't figure it out in this lifetime, he'll get it in the next...or the next. A year ago, he was dying of cancer...and he asked to see me. We met, and it was good...he got to make his peace. Some of his last words were telling me that it was good to see me. I don't know if he truly accepted his daughter's choice of life partner, nor is it mine to judge whether his experience was sufficient for the Universe's purposes (lol, nor would I want that responsibility). But being able to see his position as a learner in the world...not in this lifetime, but in the world in general, with many lifetimes at his disposal...made it possible for me to treat him with love and compassion, rather than returning evil for evil. He was a poor soul, fearful and new to the world. I could have spurned his request to see me at the end...but what would either of us have learned from that? No, I'd rather help him onward on his journey...and help me onward on mine.
Interesting but it is based on premise that reincarnation is real and a lot of people might be sceptic. Movie cloud atlas is that way. We see 6 different characters in different times and the only connection between them is a star shaped birthmark which alows viwers to know who incarnated into who. The main character(s) finds himself in various lifes, in one of which he is a gay musician and in the other a straight girl. The movie is pretty open to individual interpretation such as destiny is preset or how love moves through time and space and comes in different shapes and size, so i might be wrong. Never the less its my favorite one and id recomend it to anyone who likes this theory.
I just never considered my sexuality to be something that demanded an explanation. I never spent sleepless nights agonizing why I'm blond-haired, or good at math, or klutzy. It's just another piece of the puzzle - something that helps make Lex Lex. Whenever somebody around me asks (rhetorically) "Why am I gay?", I usually answer "Because you're lucky". Hopefully, that gives them food for thought. Lex
