I know this sounds so crazy, and that's why it scares me. I'm a 24 year old woman. I have 3 children and a fiancé (male) and a great life that I love. 7 months ago I was raped by a man leaving my college campus and it has taken a huge toll on me. I couldn't eat or sleep for so long.. My fiancé understood. Sex was not an option. He understood. Finally we decided to try, and let me just say I've never been more disgusted in my life. But I love him so this makes no sense. He's my best friend, the father of my children.. Not to mention I want more. But it's like someone slapped me with a brick! I have never gotten off while having sex with a man. Not even my fiancé. Only having someone go down on me or use fingers. I've tried every kinky thing ever!! It's never worked, I pretend. I've never been turned on like that by a man I've always had to do it myself and play along. But I've also never been with a woman so idk. I love women and the way they look and smell and all that but I've never been in a sexual situation with one to determine how I feel. I can't hurt my fiancé because I love him so much. Our children are small, and I don't want to ruin his life or theirs. But after my assault I can't pretend anymore. I don't know of I'm gay.. But I know I don't like men.
Bmc06, So sorry about what happened to you and that you are still suffering through the effects. The fact that you have been with your fiance long enough to have 3 children with him, yet never being able to achieve a climax naturally with him, does tend to make one think that maybe there is an issue there. And no doubt the attack did not help. It might be a good idea to talk to someone professional about your feelings before you get married IMHO. Be true to yourself. You have to be happy with you in order to be happy with someone else. I wish you all the best.
