I've dealt with the deaths of four well-loved pets in my lifetime. Two were dogs. One died early in my life of old age, and the other died only a couple of years ago by drowning on a camping trip. One was a cat, that I loved especially. My dad gave my mom the cat on the same day my mom told him she was pregnant with me. My mother ran over the cat when I was in Germany last summer. It was an accident, and I understand. He was deaf and small and couldn't hear the car, and he was sleeping out of sight behind a wheel of her car. Apparently it was quick. I moved on from those three deaths without much trouble. I still miss them, but I was able to grieve and recover. Now, the fourth pet... He was a lutino cockatiel, about the size of my hand, not counting his tail. He loved to sing, and say my name, his name, and a few other words he had picked up from conversations. I got him when he was a month old, still in the process of getting his true feathers, when I was nine. I loved that bird so much. He had this habit of hiding underneath my hair, or clinging to my shirt against my chest in what I called a bird hug, because he just liked to sit there and coo. That bird was my comfort in the hardest times of my life so far. When I suffered from depression and eventually began harming myself, iI always had that bird on my shoulder. Always. At every moment when I was at home, he was with me. I've read somewhere that people become so attached to pets because they show such unconditional trust and love. A bird won't judge me. My bird loved me, because I fed him and cleaned his cage, and rubbed his bald spot just how he liked it and played with his feet and stopped the bleeding whenever he pulled out a blood feather and helped him get feathers out of his eyes when they got stuck there when he preened during molting season. And then, six months ago, he stopped singing. The noise he made scared me. It was a strained whistle, a completely different sound than he had ever made. We tooknhim to thevet, and they said they didnt know what was wrong with him, SKwe took him home. Two days later, he fell off his perch to the bottom of his cage and started gasping. Dad took him to the vet again, but I had to go to school. He died while being given oxygen. Dad took me out of school to tell me, and it felt like someone had dropped a truck on me. Like suddenly, I was empty. I know it's an irrational feeling over the death of a bird, but he meant so much to me. I buried him in our yard, beside the cat, and beside the baby bird I had found in the middle of the road and called Theo before he died. I cried for weeks. Now, its been six months, and it still hurts every time I talk about him. Usually by this time, we've adopted another pet. When the dogs died, to help us stop grieving we adopted another dog, not as a replacement, but as another unique addition to the family. Same with the cat. But I'm going off to college in a year, so mom and dad don't want another bird, since they'll have to take care of it at last during the first few years of college. I just, can't move on from Leelee. I've tried being more affectionate towards the other pets, looking through the pictures Ihave of lLeelee and remembering the good times, but nothing works. I still feel like I have a hole in me where he used to be. Does anyone haveany suggestions?
My sympathies. Losing a special pet is tough, sometimes I think tougher than losing a family member, because they do give us such complete, unconditional love. I've lost a few dogs and more than my share of cats over the years, and they all had unique personalities and each one brought something special into my life that I know won't ever be duplicated. A new pet beings a new personality and happiness of its own, but like people, each one is unique and special. Maybe what's giving you a harder time with Leelee than the rest is that you're facing so many changes in your life in the coming year? Losing him at this point in your life, with college coming up soon, must be extra hard because it's almost like a symbol for leaving your childhood behind and moving on to being a young adult. It wouldn't surprise me if maybe you're having a harder time getting past this because of that. You're grieving for Leelee, but also for the natural process of growing up and leaving your childhood behind for something new and unfamiliar (but also very exciting too, don't forget!). There probably aren't any easy answers to it, but I'd say maybe spend as much time as you can doing familiar things and spending time with the people you're closest to. Get as much out of the next few months with familiar surroundings and people as you can, and talk a lot about the coming year at college with them, and how you will all stay in touch. Maybe even make plans for regular visits or phone calls or whatever, just so you don't have to feel any anxiety about being in a completely new situation. And hopefully, you'll be able to get into a place eventually where you can get another pet. They really do give us so much, don't they?
I sympathize. Losing a pet is reallllly painful. It gets better with time, but it'll hurt for a long while. In the summer of 2008, my dog drowned. Keep in mind that I usually dislike dogs, but she was different, she was my baby. It took me almost a year to get over her; I cried, I blamed myself and how I could have prevented it, I visited many websites dedicated to pet grieving, and I couldn't look at any pictures of the breed she was. This death probably hit you harder because you were so close to him. You need a lot of time to yourself to heal. Let yourself cry, vent, write down your feelings. If it hurts to talk about him you should let other people know you need time. If getting a new pet helps you, maybe try to find one that isn't a bird? I know it won't be the same, but it could work as a new friend.
I would love to have any suggestions for this. Really. But I totally agree with the previous answers. I also dealt with a few pet deaths and losses. I still cry for a cat named Luna that died at the 28th March last year. I loved her!!! But as hard as it may be, life goes on.
i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. i too had a VERY special friend. he would lick the tears from my face. more comforting than a human hug. i agree with other posters here. my cat BINX was a black cat and it took me 2 halloweens to be able to look at a black cat without crying. it does get easier...slowly. honor LEE~LEE's memory. maybe volunteer at a bird exibit at the zoo or sanctuary if you have one near you. i still miss BINX but i know he wouldn't want me to be sad when i think of him.
That's awful. I have had pet birds, and I understand the bond you develop with them. Even in their eyes you can detect personalities. I never cried after the deaths of my pet hamsters, but birds are different, it's actually like losing a friend because of their inquisitive natures to get to know you. I can't really give advice about getting over your bird, except maybe holding a ceremony, or donating to a sick bird fund to save the life of another?
I honestly have no suggestions for you... It took me a year to move on when my cat Baby died. She was here before I was even born, she died at 22 of old age. I think it was so hard for me because I never had to live without her here. - Sorry I can't help. ._.
Loosing a pet can be very hard. Its literally like loosing a member of your human family. It can take some time for you to emotionally heal from a loss. I lost my dog in 2012. He was 11. He wasnt doing well and we found out he had an aggressive form of cancer. Less than a week from hearing that news, he collapsed and could no longer walk. Upon the news I immediately rushed home and spent his last hour laying on the ground next to him holding his paw and petting his head. I rarely ever cry, but I cried the whole hour, then he was gone. It took a couple of weeks for me to adjust to not having him around the house. We had him cremated and he now sits on top of our piano. Every once in a while Ill walk up and say hi and tell him how much I miss him.:tears: Hang in there. Its tough but someday you will be able let go.
