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How to develop self confidence and self esteem

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by marcos220000, May 26, 2014.

  1. marcos220000

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    Hello everyone,

    I come here for advice.

    I'm a person that for a very long time, through my adolescence and part of my adulthood, really hated himself (something I'm not proud of). Part of it it's becuase I was heavily bullied in high school, and since it seemed I was the only one picked for that, it made me think there was something particularly wrong with me. I felt defenseless, and really depressed.

    Thanks goodness things have really changed now. Not so long ago I started a journey. I'm not exactly sure of how it happened, all I know is I began to reconsider things and look at them from a different angle. Now I can say I'm happy to open my eyes each morning, I'm I much more open and social person, I am grateful for all I have.

    Having said that, I feel I still have to work on some things.

    Particularly, I need to be more confident about my abilities and skills, and not being afraid of setting high goals. I'll be graduating from college soon, and I'm kind of nervous of what will happen next. I'm kind of scared of starting to work, and if I'll be able to achieve what I'll be asked for.

    If anyone has gone through something similar, I'd love to hear his/her experience or thoughts on this.

    Any help would be appreciated.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Ravi-VIXX777

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    Know your strengths and weaknesses. The only way you will know is by challenging yourself and taking risk. For me, I may not be the most confident in looks, but I'm dang sure confident in my competence. And at the end of the day, that is what matters.

    About goal setting, start small. Goals are meant to be challenging but manageable. Make a plan that works to meet them. Your not alone graduating, I'm graduating from high school next week and looking for jobs. Just remember, your not the first one with this anxiety and certainly not the last. Goodluck!
     
  3. Julieno

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    You are the person who is in control of your life unless you let other people take over.

    Take into consideration that if you have been bullied and have experienced discrimination, you are probably way stronger and braver than most of the people out there (even if it doesn't look like that at plain sight). Also you will find obstacles and challenges but as long as you approach them on the right way they are no more that growth opportunities. Yeah, you may struggle to overcome them, but you will finally do and will end up being stronger.

    Also a thing that helps me a lot i thinking that Potentially I could do anything so instead of thinking that you can't do things you may want to be able to do you need to realize than most of the time the truth is that whether if you are able to do it or not is your decision. For example if you wanted to run a marathon you may think that you won't be able to do it because you are not a runner (just an example). But you need to realize that if you want you can start running every day and in some time you will be able to run a marathon. The important thing is to realize whatever you decide to do, its your life and you are in control.

    Don't let negativity influence your decisions, there is nothing wrong with setting ambitious goals Just make sure that you advance towards them through a path of smaller goals that would help you realize you are in heading the right way (I doesn't rally matter how far it your goal is). You cannot jump over a mountains, you have to climb them (and in climbing them you will get stronger)

    Finally another thing that I think is very importatn is to think that many times there are people who build their success by stepping into other people toes.That people tend to do well in life until someone or something beats them, if you build your success by personal improvement it will be way more difficult for things to go wrong, and if they do you know that you can get there again the same way you got there the first time and that the process will strengthen you.

    I used to be an overweight teenager with 0 self esteem and considered myself too lazy to achieve anything. Now I am sporty,out of the closet and doing a PhD with an scholarship! So i kind of know what I am talking about and believe its true!
     
  4. marcos220000

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    That's awesome, thank you!