I began to have gay thoughts and feelings at about age 11-12, and I am now 14. Recently, I've completely accepted that I'm flat out gay (still in the closet, though). With this new mindset, I'm beginning to act and think differently about homosexuality and how others feel about it. When I was 11-12, I was actually pretty homophobic because of my father. Now, I get angry and annoyed with homophobia. Whenever I think about anti-gay supporters, I now get confused and bothered as to why they can't understand that people just love their own gender. Now, on to the homophobic father. Whenever my dad makes comments about my future wife and kids, I can't look him or anyone in the eye and I just smile and maybe fake laugh a little. Also, whenever he bashes gays, I feel hurt and go distant from everyone else. This wasnt a problem before because I thought I could still marry a girl and have kids with her. Nope. Full homo, now. Do you know how to make it easier to hide these actions from my family and others? I'm not in a great place to come out right now, and I dont want anyone suspecting me. Also, if someone asked me if I was gay, I'm at the point where I'd just naturally blurt out "yeah". If my friends asked me about girls I wouldnt be able to say anything, if they asked about homosexuality I'd become extremely nervous and freak out. I may come out to a friend in the near future, but I cant endanger my living conditions at home. My family cant know.
Ya I'm pretty much in the same position as u except my dad isn't homophobic. But yes if someone and basically anyone asked me I would probably just say yes. Staying in the closet is the best thing that u can do right now and whenever that conversation comes up just smile and laugh that's exactly what I do even though I'm sweating like crazy and feel very uncomfortable.
I think it is fair to say that at your age, it is certainly easy to play off the "OMG, my parents are so embarrassing" and just play the angsty teen card. While it is dishonest, I think it gets you off the hook to answer the question. If the angsty card isn't your style, try the red faced embarrassed act... At your age, things are bound to change an evolve over the next few years. You'll grow into your thoughts and feelings on your sexual identity. I think it is perfect fine to keep it to yourself especially if your family might not be accepting.. (*hug*)
