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Vindictive Parent?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by robotman, May 28, 2014.

  1. robotman

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    Basically... My mum knows someone that is gay at her work place and she told me about it but when I asked her to introduce me to him went in hibernation mode an complete regressed, she even said "I wish I never told you" and "No I will not introduce you into him"... I am like "why" and she says "because he is older than you and he works at my work place... (He is 30 and I am 20, maybe she thinks that there is something wrong with being friends with someone of a 10 year age gap? loool...).

    I just think that she is being vindictive... She knows that I have secluded myself from all of my friends because of the way that I feel and she knows that I know no one else that is gay, so why on earth would she mention that she has a gay work colleague and not introduce to him? I just want make friends with someone that feels the same way... I don't want to sound like a stroppy teenager but I seriously do not understand her logic... Do you think that she is just embarrassed if her work friends find out that her son is gay?
     
  2. BookDragon

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    If I had to bet on it, she told you because she wanted you to know she knows another gay person, and that's somehow supposed to show acceptance.

    If I had to bet on why she won't introduce you it's because she thinks you want to be introduced because he's gay, and your gay, and therefore you want to be gay TOGETHER. She thinks you want to fuck him, and she ain't gonna be the one that sets it up.

    If that isn't it I'll be bloody amazed.
     
  3. bingostring

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    … also she's probably a bit protective of you and wants to keep you 'safe'.. its to be expected of a mother. Not 'vindictive' at all, I'd say… Go easy on her !!
     
  4. Rumpletubb

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    I agree with the statement above. If you said nothing else than what you wrote, it could easly be misinterpreted as such. I can understand why she doesn't want to involve work and personal life.

    However, if you want to meet him fir support and have someone to unload feelings on, tell her how it is, honestly.

    Good luck!
     
  5. Colorful13

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    I agree with Elliaotaku. When I came out my mom told me about a guy at her work that likes to identify as a guy, (Biologically female) and it was because she wanted to show that she is open to everything. Your mom is probably trying to show that she understands you. Maybe try to introduce yourself to him or try to show your mom that an age gap in friends isn't that bad.
     
  6. robotman

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    Sorry about my grammar in my post aswell, I missed out words and commas. I really need to re-read things before I post them lmao... Thanks for the responses so far aswell, I just feel so alone... I genuinely feel like I am going to be alone forever lol >_<...
     
  7. Sig

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    Hey robotman
    You won't be alone forever. The person for you is just someone you've yet to meet, and many you will meet in the course of a lifetime.

    Mum possibly is being very misunderstood here.
    Her telling you about her colleague is maybe 1. Just chat 2. A way of offering you oblique support, (suggesting that she's okay with it, and wanting you to know it doesn't faze her).
    Not wanting to introduce you: It's the place she works. Can you really blame her for not wanting to mix personal and work life. Remember too, to her you are still her child, and likely it could feel like you're asking for a "take a child to work day".

    Maybe mum needs as much understanding of her as a person, (as opposed to just a mum) from you, as you have needed from her.
    This is not supposed to be harsh at all. Just honest, from heart and experience, with the ongoing relationship between yourself and your mum in mind.
    All the best to you