I already know the answer to this don't i. I feel so unsafe right now. Maybe it's just the end of year stress but I feel miserable. My issues with my French teacher have gotten increasingly worse. Last month she said that she doesn't feel sorry for people who did of drug/alcohol related incidents 'because they were the ones putting it in their mouths'. Please now visualize me slamming my face into my desk because that is so completely just no. Today I was yelled at because while one person was finishing a quiz (who I know would've blatantly asked me to shut up) I was helping a friend mark music because he's rejoining band next year. Note that there were kids on their phones and pumping music and I was yelled at for making sure this student knew the difference between a marcatto and stacatto. Am I taking crazy pills how was I being disruptive?!? My home life is getting worse. My sister makes homophobic comments. My mom awkwardly tries to defend me, my dad dances around the topic of my sexuality and has made totally just wrong comments (apparently I should be looking for a serious boyfriend but I'm not 'allowed' to know what a sex toy is). Kids in my school are so biased and uncultured. Ive lost a close friend. I almost started cutting again. I feel so lost and I'm still so scared to ask for help. I don't even know if I want summer because it means I can't go to my dance studio as often which is the only place I feel safe. Why have none of my friends or teachers noticed that I'm so upset?
I know how you feel, I've been just as down as you are. If you go to a doctor, they can help treat depression. But I think the best thing for you to do is to wait until you're old enough, and then leave everyone who is telling you you can't be a lesbian behind. Live in a liberal place like a big american city. Just remember that you have the high ground over any people giving you trouble.
"Fitting in Cardboard" by Zefrank1 on YouTube says it better than I ever could. I would recommend confiding in a school counsellor or visiting with a therapist to talk out your feelings, seek help, or just to vent every now and again. It may seem difficult and hard to do, but trust me when I say that having at least one sympathetic ear who is bound by confidentiality is a VERY good step in the right direction.
