I'm really confused by a guy's behavior at my gym. We've been 'buddies' for several years. He's ostensibly straight--married with kids (started very late turns out)--very athletic, real sports nut, and natural athlete. 50's and very, very fit and masculine. I'm similar and people usually don't perceive I'm gay. I'm not out at the gym and I've always been very careful to avoid gender references when talking about home stuff. We see each other most days and chit chat about all kinds of stuff: politics, religion, things at home, restaurants, excise tips, our respective pasts etc. Typical 'guy' stuff. Thing is, he also does things straight guys just don't do...for example, he talks about his feelings about things, he looks directly in my eyes and holds my gaze way longer than is typical. For quite awhile he was sort of skittish--very friendly then very distant--until he found out I'd lived in a gay neighborhood for years...after that he became much more relaxed and friendly. Here's where it starts to sound like a porn flick: The gym has an open shower. I usually hit the showers first. When he comes in, he always takes the shower head next to me--even if there's no one else in the showers. We're literally inches apart and often don't speak. It is very intimate. Most days he gets a semi once or twice (there is no doubt as he's amply equipped) as do I, and we're typically there 10 minutes or so. Then the same thing happens at the sinks--I'm usually first and he follows and takes the one next to me and we dry off. Then upstairs in the locker room, our lockers are a few feet apart. Often a similar scenario occurs while we talk and prepare to dress. Today he stayed naked for awhile--it was almost more that I could bear! In my experience straight guys just don't act the way he's acting. Any thoughts on what's going on here?
Where are you from? I've found that shower/locker room etiquette is very different depending on the country and the culture. I'm from Australia and I did some travelling (and gymming) in the UK a while back, I was shocked at how blasé (blah-zay) guys were about just walking around naked and showering right next to each other in open showers. Everywhere I've been in Aus, showers are separate and have doors. Maybe he's kind of comparing his to yours and finding areas that he wants to work on more? Maybe he just doesn't want to be rude and be walking around an empty locker room ignoring you? Maybe he enjoys your company and just wants to hang out with you for as much time as he's got there? I suppose having a wife and kids doesn't necessarily mean he's completely straight, he could be curious. Keep in mind as well, if you use non-gender-specific pronouns when you talk about home life. Personally that usually tweaks my curiosity about what their sexuality is. Maybe he's picked up on that??? Just a few thoughts to start with. Peace be with you.
