So last night, or rather early this morning was the first time I've really spent time with another gay guy who likes me. Met him online, we've been hitting it off for a while now, we had plans to meet for today but we were on the phone last night basically talking it down/not wanting to go through with it (the place we planned to meet) so I sarcastically mentioned how I wish we could just hang out right then, which he replied "why don't we?" he then somehow managed to coerce me into driving an hour to go see him at his apartment at 2am. About an hour of bantering yay and nay on really doing it. Basically told him I was scared because I'm extremely anxious, and at least if we meet at a fun, public place there's distractions/stuff to do to not make me feel so nervous. I mentioned it probably 2 dozens times in that hour and everytime he reassured me it would be nothing like that. I ended up doing it and everything was good and all, hit it off again, spend the whole morning laying in bed together/sleeping and he was all over me, I'm talking he would not take his arms off of me, no matter how much I moved or positions I changed, I assumed from that alone that he liked me. (First time in my life I have ever had this much physical attention from a guy.) After we get up and all and get ready to go do something, we can't, or rather he can't make a decision, we basically just end up playfully back and forth-ing in between awkward silences. We basically just end repeatedly commenting about how bored we are, then it goes down hill. He then suggests I should just go home and we could meet halfway and go do something tomorrow maybe. Unfortunately his whole attitude/demeanor about it, and up until I actually left, he seemed really discouraged, uneasy, and annoyed or something. I wanna say there was a "this suddenly isn't working out and I want you to go" sorta vibe, Didn't want to seem clingy or anything so I just said that's cool, left feeling fucking horrible since first we were planning to go out and actually do something with the day, but that blew up, and in those last, oh 20 minutes (when the indecisive awkwardness started,) I got these really strong vibes that he didn't like me or want me around suddenly for some reason. I haven't called or anything or asked him about it, but I feel so low right now. I'm just confused and upset. It's like my worst fear was realized; it suddenly got awkward/weird because of my anxiousness and ruined the whole thing, and it's why I've never (probably will never) have a partner. There's a reason I'm so reluctant to go out on dates or ask anyone out. Feel like that reason has a lot of validity now.
Dear friend Don't worry about it, it was just a first date. Before you call him next have a plan before hand so that you already have something to do. I would suggest doing something that both of you love to do. On my first date with Ryan we were very awkward , we barely talked. Now look, years later me and Ryan are married and on our honeymoon. All I can say is, don't let this one problem stop you, build on it and work it out. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Good luck -Dex
Sounds like he was just a dip. Always trust your instincts about being in public places though, seriously.
