I watched Bridegroom tonight. it had been on my list of things to watch and it showed up in the Netflix queue. For those of you that haven't seen it. Go see it and then come back to this post...(no really, go watch it...) ----------------------------------------------- I sit here in bed next to my partner of almost 7 years. He is sound asleep, snoring. We aren't married yet, but we have a relationship that is as close to marriage as you can get. We've not found the time or money to be able to do the event as proper as either of us would like. Odds are it would be a big event. We have a house together in his name. We have two cats, two cars, and lots of stuff that most middle aged people collect. The movie reminded me that we can lose people at any moment. That a life we trusted to be there can be gone the next. Bad stuff happens to good people and sometimes, it is no one's fault. But as I sit here, I realize that I am not entitled to visit my partner in the hospital, I can't make his final arrangements, I can't even say my last goodbyes without someone's permission. And that truly scares the hell out of me. I wrote this post on facebook.... I realized that I had been thinking about people we've lost a lot lately. A friend from High School named Justin took his own life 7/16/2001. Sadly I hadn't spoken to him since before we graduated High School in 1993. I learned of his passed only a few years ago when a mutual friend was catching me up. The Justin I remembered was a wonderful boy. But sadly I never got to know him well enough to share our secret with each other. He was gay as well. There are very few things in life that you can hang regret on. Never saying I love you. Never saying you are sorry. Never taking advantage of the situation. Never taking a chance. I've been posting here pretty constantly for the past few weeks. Mostly this is to try and give back to a community that has been so helpful for my life and countless others. But there are so many of you out there that feel like you don't have a voice. Please know, you always do. You have to take that chance, rise up and cry out with your loudest possible voice that you must be heard. There are those of us that are listening and hoping and caring about each of you. Maybe your family doesn't accept you. Maybe you are the outcast. Maybe your parents try to cover up who you are. Maybe they never will understand who you are. I only hope that you take the chance at life. That if you question your own life's worth you ask yourself, did I take the chance? Will I go without any regrets? What will my loss mean to the people I know? What will it mean to the ones I don't? Your life just might touch a stranger's life on the other side of the world. Justin's now did, and he never knew you. While I know that the movie wasn't about taking your own life. And that the story of my friend Justin isn't nearly as complete as I'd like it to be. Take a moment today to think about the people around you. Celebrate their lives as much as you own. Live freely. Live bravely. Live, courageously. And show the world that the rough patches are simply bumps in the road on your way to wherever you final destination may be. To those of you on here that know me, remember I love you. To those of you that have not met me or will never know me, I love you too. May all of our lives be enriched by the world around us. May we find our own Awen in each moment of our lives. May the love of all people be the unspoken blessing that we receive with every breath we take....
This line in particular stuck out to me: So true, and so unrealized and unappreciated by society today. I very rarely think to tell my loved ones how much I love them for fear of not being able to see them again. Sometimes people get so caught up in the flow of life, they forget that it can suddenly stop for them. Glad that you posted this reminder to folks - I needed it.
If I only reminded one person not to squander any moments with their loved ones then I feel hopeful for the future... This has given me the motivation to finally ask him to marry me. There will never be a better time... And we never know if we will miss that chance if we don't grab it...
We have spoken about it on several occasions... We are basically as married as two people can be without the paperwork... Bout time I made it happen.. We will be traveling to Ohio to his hometown in November, I will be meeting them for the first time. I will ask for their blessing and hopefully discover his favorite childhood spot and propose to him there... Now let's just hope he doesn't read this...
Bridegroom was so beautiful, and so painful to watch. i saw it just after I finished Holding the Man. A wreck for days. Okay still a wreck if I think about either. :icon_wink Hyaline, you always have great insight, kind, and, so often beautiful, words, and such sensitivity. I'm so glad you have a love who deserves you. We'll all look forward to hearing your fantastic news after your trip later in the year. Wishing you both all the very best, and your love of each other for the rest of ever.
That movie is going to have me emotionally tossing and turning for a while for sure... Thank you sig.. I started planning today and don't want to really write much more about it for fear he might see... (He sees me on EC quite a bit). So for now I'll keep it under wraps... But I promise to share once things are in motion...
