Not sure if I had true feelings for my boyfriend?

I dated my only boyfriend for approximately 7 months, and a few weeks ago we broke up due to him moving to another state over the summer. During those seven months I'm sure I had feelings for him, but am not sure if they were "forced" on myself or not. I said I loved him, and tried to believe that I did, but I don't think I actually did. When we broke up I wasn't even very sad, and only cried once only because I felt alone. When with him I felt butterflies (at first) but as time went by they lessened, and after a while I just didn't feel much at all. When making out I got easily turned on, but I'm thinking that it was just the sexual response that I liked, not the emotional/mental. We did oral for the first time a few months ago, and honestly I have no idea how I put myself through that. At the moment I liked it, but now when I look back at it I cringe with disgust.
Now, I've known I'm not straight for quite a while, although he is not the only guy I've had feelings for. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm gay? When being with a guy or the thought of being in another relationahip with a guy just seems boring. Like there won't be "that spark", ya know? Ive wanted to be with a girl for a while, but there is no one in my area that im interested it or that is bi/gay. I'm just confused. Does this sound like I could be gay?

 

At the moment I identify with pan, but that makes a lot of sense. I've leaned closer to girls all of my life! Girls just seem so...gentle and beautiful and soft, whereas being with guys it's more, I don't know, intimidating? They just jump at you for your body, it seems. It's not nearly as romantic. Thank you!