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Have i been friend zoned permanently?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Gagaguy, Jun 2, 2014.

  1. Gagaguy

    Gagaguy Guest

    ok so i like this kid.. i never met him before but we text and all and send selfies.. during our texts he says things like "dont be nervouss talking to me.. i like you! " "your like the perfect guy" "your like my dream guy" " everything about you is so cute!" "your so adorable" etc. okay well after a little bit in time it kinda seemed like he didnt wanna talk we got in a small argument so i said look do you wanna talk to me or not? because lately it seems like you dont wanna! and he responded with "No i've just been busy and stressed lately like boys is not a current worry of mine im sorry" so i pretty much told him how he has been acting like he wanted a relationship and that hes liked me and how he said that stuff that gave me the impression and pretty much called him out on it all then ended with "it was good talking to you." and like 3 hours later he responded saying "No chris ugh im sorry. you're like the perfect guy, you are. I just dont think you and i are meant to date. i was really hoping to have you as a friend. Because im just not looking for a bf anymore. But if you want to stop i get it. I'm really sorry if i hurt you, those were just not my intentions. so i told him how i dont mind having him as a friend but i told him in the future he needs to watch the things he says so he dont give off the impression to date etc. and THIS IS WHERE I WAS CONFUSED he goes

    "youre absolutely right! and the thing is, like i did want to date you. and part of me still does. its just im not at a good place for a relationship right now. & yeah we will totally hang out:slight_smile:!"

    so like sometime this month were going to the movies but im confused do i have a chance at some point to date him since he said "Part of him still wants to date me" or something cause i like him a lot and i dont wanna pursue anything if i dont think i have a shot or do you guys think ive been permanently friend zoned for good.:dry:
     
  2. LD579

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    I would suggest to try to not focus on the possibilities. Focus on being his friend and enjoying his company. In the future, he may or may not be open to dating you, but for now he says he's not in a place where he wants to date guys, and that's entirely reasonable and respectable. It might be easiest to try to take things at face value and not read too much into what he says.
     
  3. Hyaline

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    This sounds like something I'd say if I just wasn't in a good place to date but the guy was really cool and I didn't want to blow him off. Sometimes the timing just isn't right like Luthan said..

    Thing is...dating is a bit like having a really close friend... So sometimes starting simpler with a friendship is a more solid base to build from instead of jumping feet first into dating...
     
  4. Gagaguy

    Gagaguy Guest



    Thanks for your response! Do you think building a solid close friendship could lead to a relationship or dp you think its just a friendship only thing? :slight_smile:
     
  5. Argentwing

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    Personally, I don't believe the friendzone is as big and inescapable as our stories have told. Both my gfs were just my friends before I asked them to take it up a notch.

    If somebody asks and their prospective s/o says no, that's another thing, but it is not at all impossible for someone to get out of with a little courage. In your case, it seems best to back off a little because he said he's not ready for a relationship. But if the time comes, you are first in line. :wink:
     
  6. Hyaline

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    I'll turn your question back around on you... When you are getting to know someone, would you date someone you wouldn't be friends with? There is always the possibility he might want to be more later, but you can never know. I have a few close friends that I've turned down like this over the years too. But I have made exceptions too! So you'll never know till you wait and see..
     
  7. Chip

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    Here's the issue: If you treat it like it's "building a friendship to lead to a relationship", you're likely to blow it.

    If you can genuinely treat it like "This is an amazing guy that I'm lucky to have as a friend" and have no other expectations... you'll have an amazing friendship. And it's possible it might turn into something else... but the minute you go into it with that intent, he'll likely flgure it out, and it may doom both the friendship and any possibility of a relationship.
     
  8. Gagaguy

    Gagaguy Guest


    Yes! Love it! Okay so im just gonna treat this like a regular friendship im not gonna get my hopes up for nothing unless I see he wants to be more! Im excited that we meet this month tho :grin: :slight_smile: