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Age of Consent?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TheSeeker, Jun 3, 2014.

  1. TheSeeker

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    Hey,

    So this seems pretty cut and dry, but I want to make sure I have all of my bases covered. So I am 27 years old and work a Federal Job. I live financially independent, have my own place, and life is good. I have been out for about a year, year and a half, and am finally getting comfortable in my own skin... Meaning I am ready to mess around a bit before I get too old.

    I have never been with a guy before, but I have been with women in the past (less than exciting, unfortunately). I have a certain gay-dating-app that most of you are familiar with that is based on proximity. I have pictures on there and a nice profile, and guys have certainly shown plenty of interest.

    However, two guys that I have gotten fairly close to hooking up with have vanished from the app and I assume that they blocked me. Since I was supposed to have lunch with one of them the day after tomorrow, you can imagine how frustrating this is. I know I am a nice guy, I don't do creepy or clingy, and I am sure these guys have their own issues as well... Still hurts though.

    Now to the point: at the same time I crashed and burned with these other guys, I was contacted by a guy who was significantly younger than I was. He said he was 18, the minimum age for the app, and seemed interested in hooking up just to "mess around". I live/work on an island and he's just in town for the week on vacation. I doubt I would ever see him after tonight.

    As we chatted I found out a couple of things: First, that he's very attractive. Second, that he's 17, not 18. I backed off immediately (pissed off) and then he sent me a link to the North Carolina age of consent. It's 16. In Colorado (my home state) it's 17.

    But I really am curious what that means. I am tempted to say no, but I am tired of making excuses for myself and this hookup seems like a sure thing.

    Cut and dry. No strings attached. This is great, because I would love some action without having to date a 17 year-old. I have no desire to relive my adolescence through anyone else :dry:

    But... What I want to know is, with the age of consent at 16, can I get in trouble for sleeping with this guy? Can he accuse me of statutory rape? Because, if so, I don't want to get NEAR it. But if not... well... just wish me luck!
     
  2. Argentwing

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    Legally, you're probably good. The limit is the limit, and if he's over it in your state (or in this case either of your states), you're in the clear.

    Less clear though are the moral boundaries. I would make sure he's mature enough to deal with what he's getting into. That is a sizable age gap, and although you wouldn't go to jail, it might not be in his best interest to indulge him.
     
  3. Chip

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    I completely agree with Argentwing. What's legal isn't always what's ethical, and in this case, a 10 year age gap with the younger person being 17 isn't likely to be healthy for either of you.

    Even if it's set up as just a casual hookup thing, I can almost guarantee that he's going to get infatuated and end up being hurt, or if you do try to make it work as a relationship, it's likely to be unhealthy because there are such major life experience and power/control differences with that large an age gap at that point.

    So there's no legal issue here, but it's not something I'd be comfortable with for a variety of reasons. If you do decide to pursue anything, I'd insist on actual age documentation (drivers license) just to be sure.
     
  4. TheSeeker

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    Well, it happened. I should add that the kid is from Ohio, and is visiting this place for the first time ever this week with his friends. Very smart and mature kid. We didn't go farther than messing around and I am thoroughly thrilled by the evening I just had. Remember this was my first time ever with a guy, so I am amazed I am not a wreck.

    That said, he did seem somewhat guilty afterwards... He's been with guys in the past, but this was his first anonymous hookup. Honestly I'm glad it was with me. There are too many guys I know who would have taken full advantage of him and I am not one of them. He said he felt guilty for leaving his friends with no explanation of where he was going. I think it went well, and either way it's over and it's highly unlikely I'll ever see him again.

    I agree with you Chip, a relationship would have been impossible. I could have never reconciled the age gap. But just for a night? Don't know. I think I'm legally safe and am also incredibly happy. I have never been this comfortable in my sexuality before... I feel human again.
     
  5. doinitagain

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    To be honest I don't think that that App is the best way for you to go because of the type of person it attracts. Are there not some LGBT groups in your area which are likely to be more aligned to friendship? Then when things develop it will be evolution rather than revolution, if you see what I mean!