I need some responses to these if one of my friends asks/tells me... Are you gay? (I think so, but I havent completely shut out the idea of girls) I'm gay. (congratulations friend what do I say in response) Lets hang out. (OK I WANT TO BUT CANT BRING UP WORDS) --------------------- Im an introvert and have issues socially, and dealing with emotions too does not help it. Please regard these conversations as if they were in school/public. if my friend asked me if I were gay in private, Id say yes. In public, I wouldnt say yes but I also dont want to say no.
"are you gay?" - you say: "Well, I'm mostly in to guys, but I haven't completely worked it out yet." "I'm gay." - you say: "I'm so glad that you could trust me enough to tell me something like that. You're so brave, and I'll always support you." "lets hang out." - you say yes and then when you go out you just try and avoid the topic, if it comes up just say you don't really want to talk about it and move on. Don't be afraid to just say how you feel. And if someone asks you if you're gay, and you don't want to give an answer, you don't have to. You can just lie and say no if you're still figuring things out, and then tell them at a later date when you're more sure, and explain that you had to lie because you hadn't completely ruled out girls at the time. Or, if you do like girls and guys, tell them you're homoflexible/bi. Good luck!
Im gonna bring this back up again because a major question wasnt answered. if someone asks me if im gay, and I would like to say yes but not in the current situation, what do i say that isnt just no.
Basically you don't want to be dishonest for preparation of later on. I understand that though, I feel the same way at the moment too. It depends who asks and also how they ask. It also depends as we all know how truthful you want to be. If you're willing to be dishonest and just say 'no' then it's easy. But if like me, you just take a politician or lawyer approach, and want to dodge the question, it can be harder. People will often think to themselves anything other than 'yes' or 'no' is probably 'yes' anyway... Let's picture two scenarios as examples: Though I've never had anyone directly ask me so my opinion here may not be the perfect advice. The situation is a large group of people having a laugh and a joke about things, it's all very light-hearted etc when suddenly something you or someone else says/does prompts them to unexpectedly hit you with "Man you gay or something?!". As a light non-serious situation, I'd probably throw the attention back on them with something like "Why would you like me to be?". I can't imagine much follow up to this really. Situations like this change subject really quick I find. Face to face with one person in a quiet place such as a study at school and they take a very delicate and serious approach when they unexpectedly directly ask if you're gay such as: "Listen I've got a really personal question which I'd understand if you don't want to answer but.... etc". I find these hard to reply to. Personally myself I am at the stage where I'd probably just admit it and be truthful. But it could be someone you don't want to know just yet, and I'd probably first reply with another question: "What makes you ask that?" or "Has someone told you something?". *USUALLY* I think this would probably cut it, especially if you seem shocked or a little on-edge over them asking. All this said, there's no easy way out of it. I haven't yet been directly asked this, but I think this is what I would do.
Following on from RedDev's advice, you could turn the question back round and ask: "Do you think I am gay?" or "Are you asking because you think I am?" This approach could prompt the questioner to give his/her honest opinion, so you need to decide if you would be okay with them saying "yes" in the current situation. It's a way of addressing the original question without saying no though.
