i cant take it anymore

I am sending you a big hug. Please know that things get better. It sounds like you are at a crossroads of your life. Your family might never understand and unfortunately, that leaves you having to greive over the loss of your relationship with your family...

I know it seems overwhelming and hopeless at the moment. Funding a place where you belong for some of us is a life long journey. But the best you can do is put one foot in front of the other and take a step towards a better happier you. It might be a long road and it will likely be tough, but it is your life to live, embrace it and love yourself enough to know that others love you too..

 

Let's get one thing clear - there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, you are going through a situation that is painful and overwhelming and reading what you've already told us, it's hardly surprising that you are struggling to cope, but that doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. Your feelings and emotions are badly wounded and you are looking for hope and support.

Your Sisters comments were insensitive and cruel, so if you are looking for someone who has something wrong with them, she is the one to look at. I know it's difficult for you to ignore what she says, but she is not worth listening to. Please understand that and know that we care about you.

Talk to us while everything seems so black and horrible.. you can be yourself on here and nobody will say anything hateful or negative to you. Use this forum as a safety net to vent, shout, cry. We're all here for you.

 

Wow (*hug*)

Everyone of us lgbt's goes through dark places and sometimes they'll come and go and sometimes they stay for a really long time. But that might not be your case if u can get out of your country and find a good job you'll be good to go within a year. I understand you're just in a nasty nasty situation but we all care about u and we love u so much hold your head up high every single day and it doesn't matter what everyone else has to say bc all those prick heads r unwanted anyway. And were all here for u (*hug*)

 

(*hug*) I know its hard when family doesnt accept you. Sometimes it can take awhile for any shock to wear off. Just know that people love you. Heck I love you and I dont even know you. There is nothing wrong with feeling upset about it but if it is really bothering you to the point that you are starting to feel really depressed, antisocial, or wanting to hurt yourself please seek help.(*hug*)

 

I strongly suggest you see a counselor and get evaluated if you haven't already. I have clinical depression and wasted years avoiding treatment. When I finally did seek help it ended up saving my life.

These feelings you are having, are they persistent or do the come and go? If the never go away then get help immediately. It means you are reaching the end of your ability to hang on and that's a really bad thing. Also, if they come and go but are getting worse when they do come, that's bad too.

It's also helpful to realize that you were born predisposed to depression and that the events that seem to be causing it are really just triggers. When it comes to depression, nature loads the gun and environment pulls the trigger.

When you get help, depending on your condition, you may be prescribed an antidepressant in combination with special kinds of therapy, or just therapy without the drugs. I wasn't able to take medication so I had to be treated with therapy alone. It's harder that way but doable.

The fact you are crying is actually a good thing. It comes from the compassion you have for yourself. Compassion for both yourself and others is one of the best tools in treating depression so you at least have that as a good place to start from.

 

Sorry you feel this way I've never been depressed quite like that, but I've come close, and had to tell myself that my feelings don't own me. That doesn't mean to ignore them, because obviously they're causing you problems. But there is help out there, so don't give up on life. Message me back when you can to talk about anything.

 

I have been there to many times, I went through periods of self-injury, suicide attempts, very deep depression. There are still times when I get really down. Struggling with my sexuality was one of the reasons for my depression, but not the only one, dysfunctional family, low self-esteem, unsuccessful relationships, friends who would use me for whatever they needed and forget me after, and most definitely constant feeling of loneliness. What I try to do now is find happiness in little things, beautiful sunset, walk in the park, music, flowers, good hair day :icon_wink . One day at a time. It is always good to talk to someone, I never have, but I wish i did. A therapist would have the most experience and would probably be able to provide you with the best advice, but sometimes just getting your feelings out to someone helps, no advice needed. Don't give up on happiness, it's out there, I'm still looking for it too but I know it's there for us all. If you ever need to talk I'll listen. (*hug*)