Hi, I went out with friends for a night on the town.... We club hopped to some gay bars for some fun.... Anyway i was walking from the toilet back onto the dance floor and from behind me i feel these hands feel me up from the back to my chest and nipples just a random guy ...my nips stand out like crazy Is this OK? or should i tell him to fuck off? he tried pulling me onto the dance floor but i am not out to my friends so could do nothing in return lol.. Also i tend to get hit on by guys instead of girls ..I have never had the attention/hits from lady's.... hence this makes me want to " Jump the fence onto the other-side".
I don't care if it is a gay bar, dude just walking up and grabbing you was inappropriate and I would have let him know immediately that I didn't appreciate it. The part where you said you get hit on by guys but not girls and are considering jumping the fence, is this the only reason you marked questioning? Or do you feel there is another reason that you are questioning?
I think it depends on the venue, your vibe and, frankly, just how you feel about it. I mean if I understand what happened it was all above the waist--he basically put his arms around you in a provocative manner on the dance floor. To be honest, this wouldn't bother me. The fact of the matter is that if you are alright with it it could have been a fun way meet someone, if you're not alright with it let him know. Unless I really misunderstand what happened if you're not into it, you should be telling him you don't want to dance, NOT to fuck off.
I don't think it really matters where you are, no one had the right to invade your personal space, let's lone touch you. If they are interested in you, they should talk to you first. Just grabbing people is creepy and off putting as well as rude. Happy days
I think i like guys more than gals.. My family are hard core religious , my friends would dump me i think if i went all "out" on them.. Also i like the atmosphere of gay bars they are so much more fun...and the gay guys are much more "friendly" than str8 guys i have noticed....also i feel more comfortable around gay people than str8s... The only think i have noticed about gay dudes is they like Big C@#K when chatting with them so the small guys lose out lol.
No, not okay. Not even if you were wearing a shirt in big bold print saying "FEEL ME UP" People should respect boundaries. Having said that, I agree with OGS in not to say Fuck Off. Everyone needs to be a bit more respectful out there, and maybe then people will be a bit less uptight about this kind of stuff. Oh and btw, not all gays like "Big C@#K" either...I can think of 3 guys including myself where size is not an issue, just sayin.
I guess I feel differently, so here we go (and can't wait for all the posts telling me how wrong I am!) You were at a gay bar. I'm guessing it was wild. I'm guessing it was crazy. You go to a gay bar expecting this kind of stuff. While it wasn't particularly nice, I mean... He must have thought you were wanting it, or.. Well, maybe he didn't, and was just horny. Idk. I would hate it - and that's why I refuse to go to gay bars.
I am with the "this isn't a big deal unless you want to make it one" team. I don't mind a friendly grope. I've been um...well, lets just say I have been groped more than you were on the dance floor by a friend's friend's friend... I didn't really know the guy but he was very handsy. Honestly, I kinda liked the attention. It isn't something I normally dig, but it was harmless fun. I certainly could have made a big deal about it, but it wasn't a big deal to me. Some gay bars seem to be more "touchy" than others. I found clubs in Sydney way more touchy than here in Los Angeles. Different culture, different vibe. If it was something you didn't appreciate, a simple "no thanks dude" would suffice. He might have been trying to get your attention all night and finally got desperate... Or, he was just one of those handsy drunks..
I have a friend who, when someone does that to him, he gives them one chance to stop by saying "excuse me, that's inappropriate. Please stop." If they do it again, he simply hits them in the stomach. Usually that gets the message across. In no way is it acceptable for someone to grope you regardless of where you are.
That probably is the best way of dealing with situations like that. I must admit though, depending on the type of guy, I absolutely wouldn't mind. But that's just me, and it all depends on your attitude and mood. Ultimately, I don't think of (most) gay bars as sex dens or swinger clubs, so groping out of the blue IS in no way acceptable, just like in any other bar. You'd need to send some bloody signals first at the very least. Maybe there was more to it than you thought? Ah well. Just be aware of what you're comfortable with. And make sure you deal with anything you're not comfortable with accordingly.
To be honest if you are in an alcohol filled situation social norms become blurred. I work in a bar (not a gay bar) and much worse groping has happened both whilst working and drinking. You just need to have more tollerance when theres alcohol involved (hard since alcohol makes me more aggressive). With gay bars as well theres more of a presumption that the guys in the venue will be gay, and given the promiscuity of some gay guys, there will be times people will make a move on you. Thats life.