So... as of recent, my ex has gotten really close to this one guy online, from another forum we both go to. And as it turns out, they both have... strong feelings for each other - in fact, I... believe they actually got into something serious last night? I mean, actually embracing a relationship. Which is good - I mean, if they're happy, that's what counts, right...? It's just... as selfish as it is... I'm afraid of losing them. I just feel like a third wheel - again - because they're both very close friends of mine. But I just feel excluded from... some things. Being left out of the loop with what's going on, them playing things online together because my internet sucks, stuff like that. And I have feelings for... both of them. Knowing, as well, that this person will treat my ex way better than I did hurts as well, because... well, my ex is very precarious about whom he opens up to. And in my breaking up with him, I guess some part of him closed off to me. Which... sucks, because I feel like he was the one person that was really open with me. Nearly everyone else, I feel like they're... suppressing something from me. Hell, even now, I feel like when they talk about things in private, I feel like... they talk a few things about me but don't let me know because they're afraid of hurting me. I don't know, it's hard to think rationally right now, honestly. It's just been a roller-coaster for me, and I just haven't been able to eat or sleep well. A friend of mine thinks I need to be an emotionally stronger me, but I don't know HOW. I'm not very well-defined... I dunno. I'm just lost and confused and scared and feeling hurt, and I'm just... reaching out in hopes I can find some support or answers right now.
